


I miss you, I'm sorry.

by indiscreetlove



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), She-Ra: Princess Of Power (1985)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I know this is unusual, Past Relationship(s), but i had to, you'll love it pls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiscreetlove/pseuds/indiscreetlove
Summary: Shadow Weaver and Castaspella were teachers when Bright Moon school started to rise up, but, due to some... beliefs, Shadow Weaver left the school while it was a small one. Years had passed and now she was back, with some of former students from the Horde, to Castaspella's surprise. She wasn't ready to have her back on her life, not after all the effort she spent on hating and forgetting Shadow Weaver. It would seem, though, that she would have no other choice, but to learn to live with her again. Shadow Weaver always seem to not care, but, deep down, what does she feel?--HighSchool AU with Shadow Weaver and Castaspella as main couple, might do another from this universe if this goes well.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Angella/Micah (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Castaspella/Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 180





	1. Welcome Back.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, it was inspired after this fanart here: https://twitter.com/mondaykilly/status/1269208179323232257?s=21 and some headcanons me and my squad had surrounding this ship.  
> Second of all, for my squad: obrigada pela força e por me inspirarem a escrever, eu to me divertindo muito <3  
> Third of all: Sorry if I have any grammar errors.  
> Fourth and least: If you would like to see more of this universe, let me know. I might write down another fic centering the main characters of the show, if you guys like this enough.  
> Enjoy <3

_"Nothing will ever be the same."_

That was what she thought when she saw Light- Shadow Weaver go through the door and leave it all behind. It was not like she didn't expect it, she showed signs all over that she was going to abandon their little school in search for something bigger - that _she_ thought it would have more prestige, in search for a "power", as she called it, that Castapella knew it was never going to be good for her. Even so she watched long black locks sway with the wind as she closed the door behind her silently. She was never one to make much noise, or to do things with witnessess. But Castapella knew her, she had her patterns memorized as if it was a natural reflect. Castapella knew that once she left, nothing would ever be the same. Shadow Weaver, as she would like to be called now, left not only the school behind, but also left her.

_So selfish._

That night it may not have rained, but Castapella's tears dropped and marked the floor behind her, as she decided she would forget her once and for all.

It was probably why, at that moment, that Castapella did not have words except for a very angry expression to give to that woman at the teacher's room. The school was much different then the one she left; it was bigger, more influential. Bright Moon, as they called it, never looked better. It was an example school, spoke amongst others with such respect. Everyone wanted to be a part of it, to make it grow, to make it better. The only one in comparison was the Horde, another school, more strict, but with such as good results as Bright Moon. So why was she there? Wasn't she doing great at Horde? Why come back here? Castapella eyed her sister-in-law, also known as Principal Angella, and received a understanding but also stern eye back.

"This is our new teacher. She was with us back in the beggining, and she is now back due to some of her previous class members's entrance at the school. You'll know all these new children soon enough, but for now, please welcome back Shadow Weaver."

Castaspella looked at her, her new style, with the crimson suit and black turtleneck shirt. Her hair seemed longer and her eyes more tired, as if she had been through a lot. If she was going to be fair, Castaspella herself looked different, more tired as well, but as good looking as her counterpart was. It was common knowledge that women aged well around here. Even so, her mind screamed with only one question: why was she back?! There was no explanation but a sorry excuse! Those thoughts filled Castaspella so much that she missed when the reunion ended and she was left behind staring at Shadow Weaver, receiving a look back that made it seem as if she didn't feel anything - to confirm that, Shadow Weaver turned her back and left the room. The bell rang. Castaspella didn't move an inch.

_"What should I do?"_

• • • 

It has been a week since then and Castaspella was the teacher for this class today. It was the class that Shadow Weaver's teached at the Horde, together with some of Bright Moon's own. Adora seemed to do just well with the Bright Moon students, choosing them instead of her former classmates who were always at the back of the class, making so much noise it was a job to keep oneself calm. They were leaded by Catra, who seemed to have a story with Adora, but, honestly? Castaspella had her own problems to think of. 

Such as this damn power point that decided it wouldn't work today.

It was an excuse for the entire class to be in a ruckus, so many voices. She could hear Bow offering to help and then getting his attention swept away by the war that was seeming to bloom out of nowhere, one side leaded by Adora, the other by Catra. Castaspella looked up, at Entrapta, and saw that she was also taking parts on it, thinking it was probably some fun game. She sighed, looked at the frozen computer. There was no one to help, she was starting to get mad and nervous. As she stood up to make everyone shut up, a soft wind breezed through her and she looked at the direction it came: it was Shadow Weaver at her door. Like magic, all the children sat down quickly - minus Catra, who took some time after the woman glared at her specifically.

"I thought I heard some... noise," her hoarse voice sent chills to everyone's spine, including Castaspella's "I'm glad I'm wrong. I hate when classes misbehave."

She quietly entered the room, eying every former student and also every new one. And then, when close to the table, she eyed Castaspella finally. She was direct, not taking long, as if being there was a favour she wanted to be done with as quick as possible.

"Castaspella."

"Yes?"

She only stared at her, as if to not ask what problem was happening so that she wouldn't make a fool of Castapella in front of the students, but also raising a eyebrow with pure irony. Castaspella rolled her eyes and gave room to her. Shadow Weaver didn't take long to bent over and fix her computer. She didn't gave time for Castaspella to move either, as if everything costed much of her precious time. That, though, gave an opportunity that Castaspella didn't want, but _needed_. It was like nostalgia, but also knowing something new. Shadow Weaver back then smelled like fresh cinnamon, but now, she had a strong cinnamon scent mixed with some cigarrette she must smoke. Her hair was filled with the smell of cinnamon, while her breath invited warmly - what was she thinking? Castaspella had to back up, as she noticed she was almost bending over completely to take in of Shadow Weaver. Did she notice? Oh, that was so embarassing! Castaspella blushed, she knew that Shadow Weaver noticed. 

It was then, over. She got up, the power point and the computer working beautifully and, as if nothing had happened - as if she didn't notice - she glared the class one last time and went to the door. Before closing it, she eyed Castaspella and gave her what seemed to be... a smirk? The woman, caught off guard, opened her mouth in awe but was woke up by a reminder:

"Aunt?"

"It's professor, Glimmer." she answered, almost automatically, thanking in her head for that wake up call "Now, as I was saying..."

• • • 

Lunch break came in like a miracle and all the students dispersed and went to their young lives that Castaspella did not want to know about for that hour that she had free. She walked into the teacher's room and smiled at how lively it sounded. She smiled at some of her friends and went to put a mug of coffee for her, but she noticed, at the corner of the room, Shadow Weaver sat by herself in a small rounded table that would able to hold at least two more chairs. Why was she alone? Oh, she knew. That wasn't a difficult question. Nobody really liked her, they had history for her. Her words still salted some wounds so they would never close. And Castaspella felt wounded all over. Even so, she helped her earlier after all. 

"Here."

Shadow Weaver only tilted her head upwards and so down, to look at the mug of coffee placed in front of her.

"Do you still take it with no sugar?"

"Yes."

The short answer made her feel awkward, but, there was nothing more like Shadow Weaver than short and ironic answers. She wasn't being ironic, though, she seemed more distant. Castaspella sat on a chair next to her, not too close, not too far. Enough to pass normal.

"I honestly wonder how you can take it with four sugar cubs, if not with whipped cream."

"Well, this is no Sherabucks so I have to do with what I got. Plus, I don't like bitter things."

"Is that true?"

Castaspella looked at her with the corner of her eye, to meet Shadow Weaver smirk. She knew exactly what she meant. It was like the woman was silently mocking her _"Except for me, huh?"_. Castaspella blushed, but, at this time, she only laughed shortly. It was genuinely funny to her. She denied with her head and looked at the woman at her side:

"You're still the same, aren't you? So cocky."

"It is what keeps me going to this day, Castaspella."

"As if."

She laughed more and it seemed to stirr something inside Shadow Weaver, it made her look at her coffee, caress the mug with her thumb and deny with her head. She wasn't mad, it seemed that she had fun. But, Castaspella also noticed that it seemed like she was uncomfortable. How wouldn't she be? She was back to the place that she said she wasn't going to be ever again, going back on her words and hurting her pride. For Shadow Weaver, that was like one thousand daggers right at her soul. She would never admit she was wrong. Castaspella knew her too well, every pattern... everything. That was why she didn't know why she begun saying:

"So, you're talking to Angela again? That must be rough."

"Don't even get me started." Shadow Weaver gladly went along "It seemed like after she had a daughter she became more... Well."

"Grumpy? She did. I rarely see her smile nowadays. I think it would scare me if I did."

"Scare you?"

"Of course, do you seriously think she knows how to smile? It would come off as something like this."

And so, Castaspella made a face that made a Shadow Weaver blink and then laugh shortly. Castaspella laughed with her, allowing herself to turn to the woman next to her directly. It was on that instant that she caught her caressing with slim pale fingers a hair so smooth it seemed like black waters. It cascated down her shoulders, near to her back. It was a sight for sore eyes and Castapella's sure were sore. She let that view sink in, but not for much longer. They talked about few funny things from the past, and, somehow, it seemed like nothing ever did happen. That they were the same people, with the same goal. They looked at each other's eyes and could almost see themselves in their old fashion choices, in a cramped room that used to be the teacher's, sharing a meal and some type of dessert. Always having things to talk about, new discoveries, new everything.

But the bell rang and suddenly they were transported back to the reality, which tired eyes fitted one another and time showed clearly that they weren't the same persons. Shadow Weaver stood still, like none of these thoughts ever passed by her, but, Castaspella... The pieces of her broken heart seemed to shatter once more and it became visible on her eyes and at how her body stiffened. Shadow Weaver seriously thought she would cry, but, instead, Castaspella only got up and took her mug. She reached her hand to grab Shadow Weaver's mug and their hands brushed softly. Castaspella was the one to have a reflect and take it back quickly, but, in that place, the mug fell off her hand and shattered on the ground. Every teacher looked at them, instantly blaming Shadow Weaver, of course, knowing their past history, waiting for one of the many fights that they had back then to come back now.

Instead, Castaspella smiled widely:

"I'm sorry, it was my fault, I was clumsy. Don't worry, I don't need help. I'll clean this up."

Even so, some teachers helped her, while Shadow Weaver left the room, not to be seen by anyone - but Castaspella. 

If she wasn't thinking about all that have been and all that could have been, she would have seen Shadow Weaver's fists tightly closed and that she looked not so calm anymore. She didn't, though, and seeing her leave without saying a word only confirmed something that she already knew by heart:

Even if she wanted, even if she craved for it, the reality was far more cruel than she was willing to admit. They would never be the same again, they would never have those fun moments again. What a fool she made of herself, mistaking Shadow Weaver's coming back as a sign of hope. No, it was a sign of torture.

And that wouldn't be the first time she became aware of that.


	2. Of cinnamon and lavender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, guys, since I posted this quite quickly, the others chapters may have to wait a week or so. I got pretty excited bc my friend is also doing fanarts and then I HAD TO  
> I hope you guys like it, please comment if you like it <3 Till the next time!  
> twitter: @skypiratte

Castaspella smelled like lavender and that was something Shadow Weaver would **never** be able to forget. 

It wasn't like she searched for it, but it was impossible to not remember her when something smelled of the same. She would pass through a boutique, smell it, and remember of her. She would pass through the flower, and remember her. Everything was like a constant reminder that she existed and that she wasn't going to fade from her thoughts so easily. The years passed and it became easier, of course, but with them having to go to the new school, under an agreement she knew nothing about, Shadow Weaver realized things wouldn't go as smoothly as she wanted to be. And memories wouldn't be easy on her.

She came prepared though, life teached her that she needed to be.

No preparations would be enough to keep the cruel things away from her. She was used to all kinds of cruel, none of them took a single reaction from her. This one did though, and it made her angry.

Since the incident in the teacher's room, Shadow Weaver decided she wouldn't be having lunch there. She would avoid Castaspella the most she could, as she wouldn't want gossip to start around between the grown people around there, she knew them very well, so it was best to avoid unnecessary confrontations. But Castaspella was always there, somehow. It was her loose strands of hair that flowed whenever she entered a room, it was on their student's lips when they wanted to say the other teacher was better at being friendly, it was on that damn lingering lavender smell.

The day passed painfully slow, but even so, she didn't notice when the class was over. It was only when that damn bell rang that she noticed she ran out of time. She passed the instructions for the homework and began cleaning the board. The sunset painted the sky a tone of hopeful orange that she hated, but kept it only to herself. It was no secret she was a nocturnal person, honestly, who liked the sun-

_Lavender._

It struck her nostrils as if the perfume had just been sprayed over her and she looked at her side. There was someone at the door, not who she wanted.

"Wow Shadow Weaver, it seems like you saw a ghost."

It was Catra, one of her students. The most annoying one, also the most clever. She made it easy to be impressive and predictable at the same time.

"Yes, I saw one student that shouldn't be around here at this hour. Hasn't your Teacher dismissed you?"

"You mean Castaspella? Yeah, she did, but this school is so boring I don't want to-"

"I hope you remember why we came here, Catra. Now go. I don't want to be seen talking to you."

A brief moment and Catra seemed like she would burst, but voices behind her seemed to gain her attention. It was the Best Friend Squad, as they called it - such a ridiculous name - and it made Catra angry for another reason other than Shadow Weaver.

"I don't want it either."

She answered and left. 

Shadow Weaver looked at her board, continued cleaning it and left the room. On the outside, the darkness was soon taking over. She went to her parked car and made the mistake to look up. Castaspella didn't notice her as she opened the door to her own car and got inside. Once in, she loosened her hair and sighed from relief. Shadow Weaver looked down and quickly opened the door of her car and entered it. Castaspella didn't notice her, of course she wouldn't. Shadow Weaver leaned against her seat.

Castaspella let her hair down for one of three reasons: when she was incredibly happy and relaxed, such as when they were at home. When she was extremely angry, when they fought and she didn't notice her hair fell down. And when they were in bed. They. _Us._ There was no such thing anymore. She didn't know why Castaspella let her hair down, it didn't fit in any of those reasons. Of course it wouldn't, she must have a third new reason. Or a fourth, fifth one. Who knows? So many years since she left.

Shadow Weaver started the car and let out a bitter chuckle, going in the opposite direction Castaspella went.

"Such a weak thought."

• • •

_Castaspella got home with a box full of plants that Shadow Weaver honestly thought were too much, even though she liked them as much as her. But the smile on her lips and excitement over those tiny succulents made the woman let the other speak to her heart's content. It was a fall night, a little bit chilly then it should have been and Shadow Weaver was making dinner when she got in. She smelled like flowers, straight out of the bath with her hair neatly combed but still some loose strands showing that she was indeed human, not some type of goddess. Something that Shadow Weaver found it hard to believe._

_"Light," she said her old name, with such affection that one would be jealous of "I was thinking of calling one Spinner."_

_Shadow Weaver looked at her and laughed "Are you this kind of cheesy, Castaspella?"_

_The woman looked at her and pouted. She crossed her arms and then shrugged "If you don't want it, fine, I'll call it Angella or something."_

_Shadow Weaver looked at her, obviously not believing it. She wasn't very fond of Angella, but not enough to make her jealous. Jealousy was something that Shadow Weaver hardly felt. But that way, the things that Castaspella said... She knew when her girlfriend wanted attention. Turning off the fire of the oven and washing her hands swiftly, the woman got closer to the other and hugged her from behind. They were almost the same height, Castaspella being a little bit smaller. She kissed her shoulder first, and then her cheek. Castaspella caressed the arms around her and turned to her side to catch Shadow Weaver in a kiss before she got away. It was always warm and being close like this felt like... home._

_"I think.. You should call it Spell then. It's more beautiful than the others."_

_"Oh, Light, are you this kind of cheesy?"_

_Castaspella laughed and Shadow Weaver arched an eyebrow, a blush warming her cheeks softly. When Castaspella laughed she glowed, everywhere, like she was a beacon of light and hope. Nothing like Shadow Weaver would ever be. It made her feel happy and... angry, at the same time. She would never be like her. So she buried her face on the other's hair, breathed in her lavender shampoo smell. Gently and quietly, she murmured:_

_"Maybe."_

• • •

Eventually they would have to meet and it happened quickly.

As if to show that Shadow Weaver didn’t have control over nothing she wanted. She faced it with maturity, though, and when the teacher’s reunion came to be on that wednesday, she chose a chair on the corner of the classroom. Angella stood in front of them. Choosing a classroom to have those reunions was something common in schools, time for them to listen and have some things explained. Castaspella was already there, never late. It was one of the things they had in common. They were the first ones to arrive, keeping distance.

This could be a lot easier if she had a glass of wine on her. 

Scrolling down on her cellphone, Shadow Weaver kept away the messages she received from Principal Prime and from others… acquaintances she didn’t have the mind to keep up now. The phone showed itself to be pretty useless in the task of filling the time she had to wait for the other teachers. They came in shortly though, the historian couple, the… what was her subject again? She definitely didn’t know what Light Hope, the new teacher - to hear at least -, taught at that school and it also made her slightly interested. The woman _was_ a sight to see, black skin that glowed without the need for makeup, a turtleneck beige shirt. All in her looked celestial and she seemed to hold great knowledge. But her eyes glowed different when the sports teacher came in and Shadow Weaver instantly knew that there was no way to ever come closer to her.

Like she could, having Castaspella right in front of her. With that damned lavender smell. 

“Now that everybody is in here, let’s begin.”

And so they did, receiving feedback and as well as advice. Shadow Weaver stood silent through all the process, looking to Angella every now and then and looking away when Castaspella said something. At one time, though, she couldn’t look away:

“If I may speak,” began Castaspella “The 111 class seems tired, they barely pay attention to my class after someone takes them.”

Everyone looked at Shadow Weaver, and she could feel their eyes piercing at her. She looked directly at Castaspella though, who was looking at Angella.

“They are failing and seemingly demotivated. I can’t keep them on their tracks if this keeps going, Angella-”

“Why don’t you tell me, if it’s my lectures you’re talking about?”

Shadow Weaver seems unphased while Castaspella seemed silently angry. She was ready to fight for her point and nobody would bear a fight with her at that moment. Only Angella and herself.

“Very well,” she began slowly with a breath. And then, quickly as a javelin “Shadow Weaver your students’ grades are slowly decaying, except for one and I sure wonder why, and they also seem down and unfocused after coming from your classes. I can’t keep their attention when they’re like this.”

“Have you considered not blaming me for your faults? If they don’t pay attention to you, it isn’t my fault.”

“How dare you say that? The students behave just nicely if I have the first class with them. Don’t you see a pattern?”

“I don’t, Castaspella. It seems like you’re holding a grudge or picking someone to blame. You haven’t changed a bit.”

“What do you know, Shadow Weaver?”

“Apparently everything. You’re so predictable.” Shadow Weaver ignored her glare and looked at Angella “If it’s true what Castapella claims, which I'm sure it's not, I’ll see to it myself. You have not to worry about _my_ students.”

“Perhaps your methods are expired, Shadow Weaver. Have the Horde not teached you how to… teach?”

Shadow Weaver looked at her and noticed two things: Castaspella was angry as she could be, holding it in the most she could to be polite and, her hair was loosening a few strands on how much she was denying it with her head. Her bun wasn’t tight today, maybe because she had headaches. Headaches from what?

“It has taught me very well, I wonder how much Bright Moon has taught you.”

And then silence. It wasn’t because they were fighting, it was because Shadow Weaver just insulted everyone in that room. She wanted to sigh for that misstep, she felt the dire need for a cigarette at that moment. What she hated the most, though, was the smirk on Castaspella’s lips. She had won that argument. Shadow Weaver looked at Angella who was furious in her own kind of way, and then got up, excusing herself politely:

“It seems as though I _still_ have to learn.” she tried and Castaspella chuckled.

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Who are you to speak?” Shadow Weaver came closer to her and took that strand of hair in her hands “Be careful.”

She got out of the classroom, leaving a very flustered and angry Castaspella behind.

The empty school was something she gladly took in, as much as her cigarette. And she was just dragging the first one when she heard a voice she thought she left behind.

“Don’t you know it’s not allowed to smoke in school grounds? At least go outside!”

Her heels made irritating noises on the ground and forced Shadow Weaver to turn around. Castaspella was with more loosened hair strands, her bun almost falling out.

“I was going out, but you’re the one who halted me. What is it?”

“Why did you come back?”

“Because I wanted to.”

Castaspella chuckled, “As if. You’re not one to back down on your choices, why would you now? No. I can’t believe you. What are you scheming?”

“Scheming? Am I a type of cartoon villain now?”

“Maybe not the villain, but you aren’t a friend either. On that night you said you wouldn’t ever come back, that we didn’t have what you needed, that I- Why are you back Shadow Weaver?”

This time, Shadow Weaver took some time. It was because she didn’t want to hear it, honestly, that was the last thing she wanted. She lit her cigarette and took a very good drag from it, before heels came clasping to her in dire speed. She turned back and lifted the hand with the cigarette at the same time Castaspella prompted herself forward to catch it. They were face to face, eye to eye and lips inches apart. Castaspella halted in reflex but Shadow Weaver didn’t back down. Instead, she exhaled the smoke directly to the other woman’s lips, taunting her to see what she would do next.

Castaspella got angrier, jolted forward and grabbed Shadow Weaver’s arm, pulling it down with such strength her hair became loose, falling on her back gracefully and the cigarette fell on the ground. She stepped on it and looked at the woman behind her. Castapella’s eyes were full of tears and, at this point, Shadow Weaver couldn’t really tell if they were from sadness or from being angry. But looking at that woman, with her hair down, screaming at her again... It felt warm and cozy, but, that new feeling - no, it wasn’t new. It was an old feeling, the strange nameless one she had every time Castapella cried. It was back again and experiencing it wasn’t the best of things.

“I said: no smoking on school grounds-”

But her voice cracked in the end and tears fell on her cheeks. There it was. That warm feeling vanished, and that odd nameless took Shadow Weaver all over. Castaspella looked at her directly in the eyes - she wasn’t a girl anymore. Even though she was crying, she was strong and she wouldn’t back down. Shadow Weaver thought that as interesting, since she could see how much they were mature now, but, also, it made her slightly regret that she wasn't there to see every new change. Shadow Weaver looked back and saw the hair loop on the ground. She took it on her hands and walked closer to the other, offering with a reaching hand, in a tone that wanted to be warm, but sounded mean:

“Here, let me help you-”

“Don’t touch me.”

She slapped the hand away and the loop once again got away. She took another from her blazer and pulled her hair up on her usual hairstyle, the tears silently falling from her cheeks. Shadow Weaver wanted to leave, but, at the same time, she wanted to dry those tears and caress them away. Even if they weren’t the same, even if they would never be. So she came to it as logically as she could: 

“I’ll try to not be as harsh as I am on them. I won’t be giving you any problems. This is the last time you’ll ever feel the need to complain about me.”

“Good.” Castaspella sniffled “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

And so she began to walk away, but Shadow Weaver did something out of… Instinct? She held the other’s wrist and Castaspella looked at her. When her face was lit up like that by the school led lights, it became more apparent to her: Castaspella hasn’t been sleeping well, the bags under her eyes showed that. This wasn’t the first time she cried. She wasn’t glowing as she was when Shadow Weaver came to the school, only three weeks ago. She was bad and all because… of her?

A slight hope, even so, crossed her eyes when Shadow Weaver grabbed her wrist. What was she going to say, what she had to say? What was so important, was that… an apology?

Shadow Weaver let go of her.

“If you can’t sleep skip the coffee for tea, drink more chamomile, you’ll feel better.”

Castaspella sighed and smiled. But, that smile was nothing but painful. It wasn’t near the happy ones she gave when she felt truly joy, but, it was one like she was being tortured. Like she gave up, here, and now.

“It’s always practical with you.”

And so Castaspella left, walking as if she wasn’t going to burst out crying at any minute. Shadow Weaver would know that, but she couldn’t think about it at that moment. Her mind screamed so many things: _“that wasn’t what I was going to say, that wasn’t, I didn’t want to-”_

“You still smell like lavender.” 

Shadow Weaver murmured and left the school.

• • •

_Castaspella was crying in their room, sat on the bed. They had yet another fight about how the school wasn’t going to bring them future; Castaspella defending the side in which if they gave it enough love and time, it would grow beautifully and Shadow Weaver saying that the “time” they needed to give was but a lifetime, that they would never successful and would keep on having money issues. It didn’t matter now. Castaspella’s sobs were silent, but Shadow Weaver could hear them from miles away. Now she only watched her from the doorframe. She opened it quietly and sat on the bed, across Castaspella, who seemed to get smaller when she did._

_“The way that you say things,” she began, “It seems like nothing will ever be enough to you. That I’ll never be enough to you! Why can’t you just let us grow here, happily, slowly? Why must you always want more? Am I that much of a shit-”_

_“No, Casta, don’t ever say that about you again.”_

_Shadow Weaver’s hand touched Castaspella’s back, to which she turned around quickly to face the other and to dismiss her hand away._

_“But that’s all you say. It’s implied. If you want to go to the Horde, to be away from this and from me, you can just go! You don’t need to be shoving at my face how much I’m not enough Light!”_

_And she sobbed more. Shadow Weaver looked at her with guilty eyes; she messed up big time._

_“It isn’t about you.” she came closer “I just think that it can be dragging us back, it’ll never let us reach our true potential.”_

_“What is that true potential?”_

_“Something bigger.”_

_“ **We** have potential. Why can’t you see it?” _

_Shadow Weaver looked down and then back to her. She begun to inch closer, Castaspella fighting her slow embrace until finally giving up and crying on Shadow Weaver’s shoulders. She let her do it, as long as she wanted. Once she was finally over, Shadow Weaver took her face in her hands, that sickening nameless feeling all over her, making it difficult to speak. That’s why, she said in a low tone:_

_“I see it. That’s why I want you to come with me. I want you with me, always. But, let’s talk about this another day.”_

_“We’ll fight about it again.”_

_“Even if we fight, one thing remains true: I’ll always love you.”_

_She kissed Castapella’s forehead and the woman leaned her face on Shadow Weaver’s hands._

_“I love you too.”_

_They shared a kiss, one with so many feelings it seemed messy, but also right at the same time. It took their breath away, so they wouldn’t speak of things that would hurt each other more, so they wouldn’t torture each other more. And when they broke apart, they held each other close in a tight embrace, taking in their mixed scents and how well their bodies fitted together._

_“We’ll never be torn apart.”_

_“Promise me, Light.”_

_“I promise you, Casta.”_


	3. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, before entering this chapter, be aware that there is angst.  
> But, this is the last chapter with really have angst. The angst from now on will be pure hurt/comfort. It means that it'll get better for both of them soon.  
> For something to be better, it has to start somewhere. This is the start.  
> Enjoy <3  
> twitter: @skypiratte

At that point, calling it incidents were quite bothersome. 

That's why they stopped with it. Of course, there were times that some spark ignited itself, but they would face it with maturity. They weren't as young as when they started teaching and that would be something they had to  _ prove _ . They had students to care about, they had things more important than to get into little fights here and there. But, they made sure to make each other lifes a living hell. Shadow Weaver always favored Adora, so it was Castaspella's turn to favor Catra. Not that it was difficult, the student was quite a genius herself, so she wondered why Shadow Weaver gave the girl such a hard time. Adora had more difficulties to study, but was great at sports. It wasn’t difficult to be a little more strict on her.

Also, Shadow Weaver couldn’t be  _ seen  _ dragging a cigarette, even outside school, because Castapella somehow managed to convince Angella to prohibit it entirely, for the sake of everyone’s “health” - which Mara gladly backed up as being the sports teacher. Shadow Weaver didn’t let it be easy for her too, always taking the last mug of coffee - and if she didn’t she would just subtly throw it away - so Castaspella couldn’t have her ‘wake up’ elixir. Also, Bright Moon students loved Castaspella and the former Horde ones, well, they liked Shadow Weaver better. It wasn’t long before they would take it into their advantage.

_ “You’re right, Lonnie, Castaspella is slower.” _

_ “Don’t say things like that Mermista, even though it's quite true, her methods  _ **_are_ ** _ bad.” _

The silent war between the students became quite fast, but it got to the wrong sides. They weren’t fighting for the teachers, they were fighting one another. And it became a problem not only for both of the teachers, but also for every other one who had the misfortune to teach to those angered kids who were fighting over nothing. As if sharing the same thought - and the same bothersome guilt for starting this -, they took the “leaders” of the movement and their groups to the gym.

Upon facing each other, they swallowed their words, one side Shadow Weaver with Catra and her squad and on the other Castapella with Adora and her own squad. They seemed to growl at each other, almost jumping to initiate a war.

“All of you, sit down! And if you jump at one another, this lecture won’t be the only problem you’re going to have!”

It was Castaspella thunder voice, taking by surprise all of those who were present, including Shadow Weaver. As ordered, all of them sat down on the grandstand and it was visible how uncomfortable they were. Catra and Adora sat next to each other, much to their displeasure. They resembled a lot Castaspella and Shadow Weaver, the former shifting her weight from time to time and Shadow Weaver’s hands fidgeting nervously. Of course, she couldn’t smoke for most of her time there and Castaspella as well couldn’t drink coffee unless she brought it - and she wasn’t really great at making coffee. They looked at their students with angry faces, well, Castaspella did because Shadow Weaver needed only a calm glare for her students to understand. They did this for a while until the students stopped fidgeting and noticed they were in big trouble. Once the aura quieted down, Castaspella was the first to begin:

“Students, what is going on? It takes us to turn our backs to you and a war begins? How did this start?”

“Adora and her little friends-”

“We? No, it was you who started it Catra! All because you’re jealous.”

“Shut up Sparkles, what would I be jealous about? We’re clearly smarter than you!”

And so, again, the war. Castaspella tried to talk over it, to make her voice sound louder than her students. It proved itself worthless, as the students got louder and louder. Castaspella was about to shout when Shadow Weaver took a step forward.

“Horde members.”

It suddenly went quiet for one side and Adora, as if of reflect, also stayed quiet as the woman spoke.

“I remember teaching you manners. When a higher position talks to you, what do you do? Yes, you stay quiet. Let Madam Castaspella speak and show respect.”

Castaspella looked at her with an arched eyebrow as she went back to her position to her side, then she looked at her students. All of them - including the ones from Bright Moon - were embarrassed in their own way, not able to look the professors in the eyes, some more conscious about their manners than the others, all of them feeling guilty. Both of the professors wanted to laugh about how kids were so easily put together by a tone of voice. So Castaspella let that sink in for a moment before continuing:

“Students,” she warmed her voice so she could have their attention. They met strict eyes though “I know we haven’t had a good past with Horde school, but, we’re all part of the same one now. Which means, we’re together in this and you’ll have each other for years to come. This is the first year only and you’re already like this. I want you to become strong, rely on each other, because you’ll have more time together here than with your own families. You’re your own family now, so take care of each other and stop this stupid war.”

All of the students looked at each other, Adora attempted to look at Catra with an apologetic look, which was refused by her as she got up and stormed out of the place. Before the teachers could stop her, Adora got up without thinking:

“I’ll go after her.”

And so she went.

Castaspella looked at Shadow Weaver with a concerned look which was replied with one calmed, as if that happened often. Castaspella sighed and denied with her head. She placed the papers and the box of pens on top of a desk and smiled, angrily, at them.

“Well, the ones of you remaining, one more thing: I want essays about good friendship and coexistence by my and Madam Shadow’s desk by the end of this day and nobody is getting out of this school until that is done. That’s all.”

She ended it all and left the room, Shadow Weaver right behind her; once they left, all they could hear was the students' complaints. Castaspella and Shadow Weaver were next to each other in the hallway, without facing each other. Shadow Weaver was the one to break the ice:

“I’m going to get-”

“No, I’ll go after them, Shadow Weaver. I think I’m better at this than you.” she started walking, but before she went away completely, she said “We… Meet me in the parking lot at the end of the day, please. We need to talk. This is our fault.”

Shadow Weaver couldn’t say a thing, because, as always, she was right.

• • •

The end of the day didn’t want to come at all.

Castaspella eventually found the girls, but she couldn’t do anything. She just heard their muffled crying and their attempts to have each other in a hug, but being denied; everytime Adora reached, Catra snapped at her and then she looked scared because she hurted Adora, who also spat at her because of her behaviour. The girls were facing a problem so big that… it reminded her of her own problems. Such adult and childish confrontations - being so young and yet having such strong feelings. Eventually they left each other, Adora ran away crying and Catra stayed behind, crying a silent but heavy cry. Castaspella turned around. This would never have happened if  _ they  _ didn’t start it. She wanted to cry too, but all she could do was bite her lip and go through the rest of the day.

All the essays were delivered and she released the students. Once they left the classroom, Castaspella let down her hair and caressed her temples. It was time to meet Shadow Weaver. The sky outside was in a warm, but sad sunset. Maybe it was sad because of all of the feelings conflicted in her. As she walked the hallways of the school, the woman looked down all the time. In the pocket of her skirt was something she wanted to give Shadow Weaver, even though she didn’t approve of it. 

Upon arriving in the parking lot, Castaspella spotted Shadow Weaver - it wasn’t a hard task, though. She wore that crimson shirt, now unbuttoned by two of them, revealing a golden necklace she wore beneath it. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, but her red lipstick was untouched, as perfect as the beginning of the day. That orange light of the sun glowed in her beautifully and it pained Castaspella deeply. She was leaning against the little fence that divided the sidewalk from the parking lot pavement, holding a cup.

Shadow Weaver also spotted her as soon as her heels could be heard and her eyes widened a bit - Castaspella was with her long hair swaying with the wind. Her white shirt was also unbuttoned by two of them, but she looked more casual now, without the rolled up sleeves. Her purple skirt looked good and shaped her form in an attractive way, on her wrist a golden watch that Shadow Weave gave her - it had a constellation inside of it as a pattern, because Castaspella loved stars. Her black lipstick was a little smudged, but it didn’t look ugly, her already dark lips just made it look more normal. Upon getting next to each other, Shadow Weaver handed her the cup in her hand:

“I know you needed this.”

Castaspella smiled warmly at her, it was a frappuccino from Sherabucks, with extra cream and extra coffee, the way she liked it. She took the little pack from her skirt and handed to Shadow Weaver:

“And I know you needed this.”

It was a pack of cigarettes; it wasn’t the one that she smoked usually, but it was the “healthiest” one she could find, because of course Castaspella would research something like that before buying one. It didn’t matter, Shadow Weaver was thankful and she took one in her lips, litting and taking a slow drag of it, before blowing to the opposite side of Castaspella, while the other woman took a very good sip of her coffee. Together, they sighed, relieved. It was Castaspella who broke the ice this time:

“We… let it go pretty far for personal reasons.”

“Yes.”

“It hurted all of them.”

“Yes.”

“Those girls… Adora and Catra; they have such strong feelings even though they’re just children. Have they always been like this?”

“... Yes.”

And so silence - Shadow Weaver stole a glance at Castaspella and had an odd feeling when she saw the tired face of her. She wore a sad smile, one she held when she wanted to say everything was okay, even though it wasn’t. Shadow Weaver felt conflicted; she didn’t really care about the fights, feelings, whatever it was that became in between Adora and Catra - only when it affected their school performance - but, whatever Castaspella saw out there it wasn’t good. 

“Casta-”

“Shadow, why did you come back?”

That question again, but this time, there was no room for lying, playing or tossing it over. She could see Castaspella’s hand trembling slightly. She needed an answer - hell, not one, but all of them. Shadow Weaver didn’t want to say, she wanted to be enigmatic one more time, because, if Castaspella knew something more it would mean she would be more into her life, knowing more of her. Wanting it or not, that rivalry, bitterness against each other was a  _ safe  _ place, one to not talk about feelings and ignore years and years of muffled cries and thoughts. But, she had to face it eventually, she had to say to her. And it was embarrassing, because neither Shadow Weaver had the answer.

“I don’t know.” Castaspella looked at her with widened eyes, as if she was being mocked once again but, once their eyes met she saw how serious Shadow Weaver was “I had options, it was my choice to come here. And I don’t know why yet.”

Shadow Weaver decided she would remain silent about her mysteries - about how she still had connections with Principal Prime -, but half of it was true. It was her choice to come here. She looked in front of her to smoke a bit of her cigarette. To Castaspella, though, it seemed shallow. That answer didn’t please her, and she thought she would be angry about it, but she was just sad.

“I always hoped you would come back one day. I gave up about five years ago. Imagine my surprise when you came back.”

“I was surprised too.”

“You weren't.”

“No, I wasn’t.” she admitted “But, even though I came prepared, nothing would prepare me for this. It was my fault this little squabble, war, whatever you call it, happened.”

“Don’t take all the credit to yourself. I’m a great leader too.”

They smiled bitterly at each other before looking in front of them again, averting their gaze. The coffee tasted sour now, and the cigarette rotten. There was a conflict between each other, so many feelings that couldn’t be said, but desperately needed to. Castaspella was the one to talk about feelings, Shadow Weaver wasn’t the one to do it - that’s why Castaspella widened her eyes when the other woman begun:

“It may seem very opportunist, but, Castaspella, I never meant to hurt you, even though I knew it would. It was my choice; I don’t regret it. But the things I said back then still were true;” she took a drag of her cigarette “you were always there.”

She looked down and then up at the sun. It was almost night and the blueish color began to fill the places, she could even see stars. The street lights were already lit up, but they were left in the dark. It made them suddenly become aware of each other’s presence, so strong and there, side by side. The dark always made people do things, of impulse, but they held theirs there with them. As if taking the cue, Shadow Weaver continued:

“Every star I saw, every black long hair waving through the wind. Your damn lavender smell… You were there. No matter who I laid with, in the end, it wasn’t you. I’m not pleased about coming back, not much as you are with it... But if I am, we better work this out.” she suddenly became serious, not talking about feelings anymore. Castaspella hated when she avoided talking about things like this “We are clearly a menace to these students lives.”

“Yes.”

They stayed silenced for a while.

“Castas-”

The woman prompted herself in front of the other, took her cigarette from her hands. Castaspella took a drag from it herself, red lipstick mixing with black at the tip. She blew it on Shadow Weaver’s lips and closed the gap between their bodies. She stared the woman in the eyes, their legs becoming tangled. Shadow Weaver didn’t know why she was doing that, but it sent shivers down her spine. Castaspella’s eyes glowed black and the strands of her hair brushed Shadow Weaver’s face in a taunting way. Shadow Weaver didn’t back down from the intense stare, but also didn’t know what to do.

“I’m still angry and hurt,” Castaspella began. “nobody has ever broken me as you did. You left me in pieces, Shadow Weaver. I was never able to claim all of them back. Then you come in and let it shatter again, and again you step on them. You give me hope only to shatter it down.” She paused and continued, serious “I’m not a girl anymore, I won’t be running to your arms whenever you say something nice. And even though I missed you, I did  _ not  _ forgive you.” 

Shadow Weaver was seriously listening to the other woman talking but, the way her lips were close, so close, made her eyes look directly at it. She wanted to savour her right there, right now. Hold her tight and claim back years of yearning, but she couldn’t. Her heart reminded her of its existence by beating so strongly against her chest. She couldn’t. Her own lips parted slightly, enough to show the tip of her sharpened canines.

“I won’t forgive you. That’s why,” Castaspella said “from now on we’ll behave nicely. For the students. Whatever reason you’re here, we’re working this out as adults.”

And as if an ephemeral being, Castaspella left her body, Shadow Weaver instantly missing it. She placed the cigarette back on Shadow Weaver’s mouth and then gave her back to her, entering her car before Shadow Weaver even thought about stopping her. She didn’t want to, but when the car started, Shadow Weaver looked at Castaspella deep in the eyes. They were both feeling desire, angry desire, and that hurted both of them. Because in their eyes it wasn't only hunger, it was sadness too. Sad about all the things unsaid, all the things exploding and racing through their minds and body. Castaspella let a tear fall and then began crying silently in her car, still holding the gaze. Shadow Weaver couldn’t hear the sobs, but she acted on it. 

She opened the door and in a swift movement held Castaspella close in a tight hug. Castaspella clung to her, digging her nails on her back as if to rip that shirt off, Shadow Weaver's right hand supported the woman’s head and the left arm tightened around her body, bringing her close. She wanted to say she was sorry, she wanted to apologize for it. She didn’t. She only held Castaspella close. It wasn’t like the comfort they gave each other back then, it was painful to be aware of how well their bodies fitted it other, torture to feel that mixed scent that worked so well for them. 

Then, silence.

They broke apart only to look at each other and caress their faces against one another, their lips aching for each other, but never starting what they so much wanted. Castaspella’s hands toyed with Shadow Weaver’s hair, as the other held her tighter. And then, Shadow Weaver pressed their lips together, finally. They shared a messy kiss, filled with greed, to feel, to fill. They knew themselves as well as they didn’t, they let huffs, moans escape their lips but never let go of each other. It deepened, Shadow Weaver’s pulled Castaspella’s hair slightly firm and the other moaned against her lips, and, in response her nails dug down the other’s back, who groaned between her lips. But, when Shadow Weaver was about to lay Castaspella down, like waking from a haze, the woman pushed the other strongly. Both of their eyes were widened, noticing that what they did was pure instinct and feelings. Castaspella closed her door and locked it, starting it as soon as she could to get out of there. 

Shadow Weaver stood there in shock, looking at the spot that Castaspella’s car used to be, white noise on her ears. 

What had she done?

Shadow Weaver noticed, then, something warm drawing lines on her face. She could feel every course of it. She touched her face; tears. So many of them. She sighed, placed a hand on her forehead.

“...Shit.”

The cigarette, with smudged black and red lipstick rested on the ground, losing it’s fire gradually. Forgotten. 

Shadow Weaver entered her car, after a while. 

Suddenly, it was Teacher’s Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked this, please leave kudos and a comment! Bookmark it so you'll get a notice when I update ( I think ) and next chapter is going to be FUN ehehe.  
> Can't wait to show you guys!  
> twitter: @skypiratte


	4. Teacher's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I took so long, I was stuck with what I wanted for this chapter, but I think it turned out cool xD  
> hope your like it <3  
> twitter: @skypiratte

As they promised themselves, their behaviour was impeccable. 

There was no more silent war between themselves, Shadow Weaver didn’t spend her lunch in the teacher’s room and Castaspella returned to be what she was before: a funny woman with good friends. Their classroom also seemed to quiet down their own wars and now were trying to mingle themselves. The only person who refused to mix with the others was Catra, which was expected. The teacher’s war might be over, but that didn’t mean that all the students were over it. 

In fact, neither were the teachers. Every glance at each other through corridors was a painful reminder of how childish they acted and, also, how well they fitted together. Castaspella could swear she still felt the warmth of Shadow Weaver’s embrace, while the latter felt her lips tingle every now and then, missing something she learned to forget.

Shadow Weaver received an invitation from who she would least expect: Principal Angella herself invited her to the little ‘bar’ meeting where the teachers would go to celebrate that day. Shadow Weaver never celebrated Teacher’s Day; she used to take Castaspella somewhere nice or they would pass the entire day talking over a glass of wine. Now that she was single and many years had passed she would mostly spend her days looking over her garden of daisies and roses, enjoy a book and relax by herself.

Shadow Weaver wasn’t the type of woman to go in bars or anywhere with a lot of people - if she had to date someone, or if she would want to meet someone, she would always go to a café or a winery, she always knew  _ what _ she was after -, she liked her peace and quiet. But one thing that encouraged her to go was  _ “I’ll pay three rounds of anything you want”  _ and she could use a drink or two.

Getting ready for these kinds of events was never her thing - Castaspella did it so much better -, but she chose a red silk shirt to use with some buttons unbuttoned - a few three because she felt daring -, she chose gold jewelry to grace her neck and wrists. She chose a tight black skirt which was a little before her knees. Her heels were also black,  _ scarpin  _ as she liked it. She pulled her hair back nicely, but it looked more wavy that way. The makeup was light and, on her lips, her signature red lipstick. 

She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look half bad, no, she knew she looked stunning. She just didn’t feel like it. Deep down she knew she was dressing like this for - more like, for who she was dressing to. She felt like a girl trying to impress her crush. It passed her mind that she would be there - of course she would. But she shouldn’t go only because of that, she needed to regain the trust of her colleagues. That would be an awkward night. 

Splashing a different perfume than she used to, Shadow Weaver took her keys and went for her car.

• • •

Beneath the table her legs shifted uncomfortably, around her there was Angella, George and Lance in an interesting conversation. And also quiet, was that teacher Light Hope. She was quite a mystery herself - her skin was shining black and she wore a pale blue over her shoulders, covering a loose silk beige shirt. Her lipstick was nude, but also shining. Everything about her was glowing. Light Hope sipped on her martini quietly, looking at some point that Shadow Weaver couldn’t well specify. She looked at her own whisky in her hands. Damn, it was torture this silence.

“It’s tiring, huh?”

She tried with best intentions and offered a smile to Light Hope. The woman seemed to notice her quite slowly, as if to take in all the image of Shadow Weaver. It made the teacher watch her back with a raised eyebrow. Shadow Weaver didn’t know if the other was judging her, for she looked so serious doing so. After a quick while - that made the woman seriously consider stop trying to talk with the other - Light Hope smiled a short but alluring smile.

“Quite. I didn’t know being out in public like this would be so… boring.”

“I knew about this before even considering coming here. Why are you here then?”

“I thought it would be a nice thing to break the… routine?”

Shadow Weaver laughed, and so did Light Hope shortly. The woman was definitely some kind of houseworm and clearly didn’t know how to interact. But with some work and patience, she was interesting to say the least. She had a very interesting conversation about mathematics and stars, some kind of things that Shadow Weaver secretly enjoyed. Shadow Weaver liked to learn and to share knowledge, even if that wasn’t the type of conversation you would do in a bar.

It did well to distract her from her thoughts and also to keep her interested up to another round of drinks, when the table somehow managed to talk together. It made Shadow Weaver uncomfortable, yes, but when she was about to get more familiar, she could hear honey laughs. They were always melting and blending together - quite annoying - and it made her attention go directly to them. To what she thought it was two girls on a girls night out it was Mara and Castaspella. Mara was wearing a casual shirt, showing her muscles out and jeans. Some sneakers, she couldn’t pay attention to. All she could see was Castaspella.

She wore some high waisted blue jeans, a long sleeved turtleneck sweater with a gap on her chest. Some kind of fashion thing, she thought. Her heels were the same cream color as her sweater and her hair; it was like she was underwater. So perfectly it flowed, in front of her face and body. Castaspella looked younger, shining and bubbly. It was like Shadow Weaver was brought to some years back. She didn’t like how easy she looked around Mara. 

“We’re sorry, we stopped by to take some ice cream.”

“Yeah, I was starving for some!” Mara smiled that big jock flashing smile. “I hope you guys are still light!”

And so they laughed. Shadow Weaver hated it. 

But after another whiskey, she was laughing too even if it was shortly. Castaspella looked younger, like she was eternally back in her first teaching days, with a smile so big it got ear to ear. It was rare to see her like this in school that Shadow Weaver forgot how heavenly she looked when she was having fun. It bothered her, though, as it was not her jokes or irony that made Castaspella laugh. It wasn’t a problem, she wasn’t jealous. It was just that she was there before, she could almost see it. 

Maybe she was having too many drinks.

The woman got up, excusing herself briefly and walked to the bathroom. Two glasses of whiskey neat, two whole glasses of rich wine. She was to learn those things shouldn’t be mixed together, her sight was blurred and she found it hard to walk on her heels. To her delight, the last person in the bathroom left as she got in. She looked at herself in the mirror, her makeup was still intact, but she did look drunk - with half-lidded eyes. Her lipstick, though, looked a little smudged and she reached to her purse to grab the item. 

When she looked back to the mirror, Castaspella suddenly appeared. She was just entering the room, hiding her hair behind her ear with a shy smile before noticing Shadow Weaver - the latter smirked at her and enjoyed when she saw Castaspella be more timid. The woman got to her side, as it seemed they both were with the same point in mind. But that did stir some curiosity in Shadow Weaver.

“Following me?””

“You wish.”

Castaspella’s voice sounded like honey and they both looked at each other before laughing together. It was kinda nice to laugh like this, they haven’t been able to in what seemed like a hundred of years. Out of her jeans pocket, Castaspella took her lipstick out, but, before she could begIn to apply, Shadow Weaver’s voice as faster:   
  
“You look beautiful today.”

It went without her noticing it as she was giving her back to leave the bathroom. This time, Castaspella was faster:

“Shadow.”

The woman looked back with a ‘hm?’ to find an expression that she was sure Castaspella didn’t know she was making. It was like a silent plea, a wish she kept hidden in herself, but the drinks made her take courage - Shadow Weaver didn’t know what it was she wanted, but she was smiling, a slight flush on her cheeks.

“So do you. You look gorgeous tonight.”

It was Shadow Weaver’s time to blush slightly and that caught both Castaspella and herself out of guard. They stood there, looking at each other. Castaspella’s smile faded to take place a surprised expression; she didn’t see Shadow Weaver blush often. Even when they were together, that was a rarity and it always made her heart beat so fast she could feel the urge it had to get out of her mouth. As to Shadow Weaver, getting embarrassed wasn’t something she was used to. She always didn’t know what to do after, she never thanked, nor said anything. She only did that:   
  
Shadow Weaver averted her gaze to the ground and to her side, her eyebrows furrowed and she nodded, before leaving the bathroom and a very surprised and… lost Castaspella behind.

Even though Shadow Weaver recovered quickly from her previous embarrassment, she couldn’t meet Castaspella’s eyes. And as the conversation got on - and also drinks - she would steal some glances and catch Castaspella looking at her with a warm smile. She wasn’t used to this, like they were flirting back in Mystacor’s College. With glances, smiles and some inside jokes. There were new jokes, new types of glances and smiles but it was still nostalgic. 

The table noticed, Angella got worried but was too drunk to care. They were like old friends, as if that was possible. And it was everything alright for all of them, but to Shadow Weaver. That feeling of animosity, of everything being right didn’t sit well with her. Shadow Weaver knew pain and abandonment like nobody else and striving to get on the top was what she lived by for years. Having “friends” wasn’t a luxury she had. So, that made something twirl in her stomach and she tried her best not to give in to that anxiety, but after two hours, she couldn’t bear to be in that place. 

Castaspella noticed that by the way she noticed Shadow Weaver become quiet every now and then, it made her heart sink. She didn’t see Shadow Weaver like this ever in her life - the woman was always confident and sure of everything. So what could be that was bothering her? She wanted to reach her, but when she thought of doing so, she saw Light Hope starting a conversation only with her and saw that it eased her a little bit. It sunk in like cold rain - they changed, moved on and somehow, weren’t each other’s safe place anymore. Shadow Weaver made that face when she flirted, a smirk and a raised eyebrow and the other woman responded with a chuckle and scooted closer. Castaspella averted her gaze elsewhere, getting back into the table conversation so that she wouldn’t think much of that. She needed to pay attention to something else now.

One more hour passed before Shadow Weaver got up. She wasn’t as much as drunk anymore, having ordered an amount of water so she could get the taxi back home and still be aware of everything that happened.

“I’ll be going now, it was… nice spending the night with you.”

And with a nod, she excused herself. Castaspella’s eyes followed her as she went outside to wait. She saw Shadow Weaver lit a cigarette and took a puff; it instantly reminded her of that day and it made her cheeks blush so she looked to her white wine glass. But, at the same time, she felt… sad. That night was different, they were able to act civil, but, more than that, they were able to have actual fun together. It hurted her, because she wanted more of that. She realized she missed Shadow Weaver, that she wanted these moments of happiness. Would that ever be able to come true?

When she looked back, there was no sight of Shadow Weaver, only the ghost of where she used to be.

• • • 

Castaspella didn’t know what hour it was but it still wasn’t morning. She felt nauseous and a headache slowly aching to announce she was going to have a hard time later - gladly it was Saturday. So why was her phone ringing that stupid song at this ungodly hour? Who was calling her, and for what? She answered it mechanically and with a groggy voice she tried:

“Yes?”

Silence.

“Who is it?”

_ “Can we talk?" _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you think it was on the other side? :3333333  
> twitter: @skypiratte


	5. Promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: adorasmile.

“Did… something happen?”

_“No. But I need to talk to you.”_

Castaspella sat up on her bed and looked at the clock on the night table, it was 3:12 AM. If she remembered correctly she got home only two hours ago. That must be why her body felt like total garbage and she wanted to throw up - she barely got any rest. If that wasn’t the reason, then it was the raspy voice on the other side.

“Wasn’t there a better moment to do it? It’s three AM, why didn’t you-”

_“I couldn’t wait.”_

“Shadow Weaver-”

_“Please.”_

Castaspella’s body tensed and she forgot about how nauseous she felt. It seemed like something very serious had happened. But, knowing Shadow Weaver, she would have to carefully work her way through to make the woman speak. She sighed, to let the tension off so she could be calm and answered:

“Okay.”

She got up and lit the lights in her apartment, going to her kitchen so she could make herself some tea to make her stomach feel better while the other breathed in and out on the other side. Castaspella also paid attention to see if the woman was hurt, if her breath was somehow strange, if she was hurt or anything. When her water was warm enough - after a couple minutes from her confirmation, she heard:

_“I was wondering; is it really hopeless?”_

“What is?”

Once again, silence, and Castaspella had time to put her tea bag inside her mug and sweeten it a bit, while waiting for it to be on the right taste.

_“Are you making tea?”_

“Yes.” Castaspella answered right away “I’m not feeling so good.”

_“Maybe it was better for me to call another time then.”_

“Perhaps. But we’re talking now. And the way you’re avoiding the subject is making me more sick than the actual alcohol in my system.”

Shadow Weaver chuckled and Castaspella felt a weight get out of her chest. She wasn’t hurt… probably. She blew her tea and tried it, feeling her nerves get calmer.

_“I guess that’s just how it is.”_

“You’re being emblematic again.”

_“I can’t be any other way.”_

“I know.”

_“Does that mean you gave up on me completely?”_

Castaspella froze and she felt like she would throw up. What the hell was Shadow Weaver talking about? What kind of bad joke was that? What was she trying to pull? Suddenly getting defensive, Castaspella said in a rispid tone:

“Are you still drunk?”

_“Sadly, I’m not.”_

“I can’t believe you’re actually saying something like that, right now. Did you call me only for that?”

_“If you think I’m joyful calling you, I’m not. You’re right. I shouldn’t. I’m sorry to disturb you.”_

“No, wait.”

Shadow Weaver didn’t hang up, neither did Castaspella. They stayed in that silence. That bothersome silence. Her feet were tapping against her floor and she took her tea all in one gulp. She needed to feel better. She needed to be strong.

“Is this because… of the other day?”

_“No. I mean, yes. It’s about… I just wondered. I don’t want to interrupt your new relationship, I just don’t want to leave some things unexplained.”_

“Like what?” Castaspella didn’t deny the ‘new relationship’ on purpose. If Shadow Weaver was feeling guilty, she needed to let her have this motivation.

_“I came back to Bright Moon because the Horde wasn’t useful to me anymore. I couldn’t learn, nor grow as much as I wanted. I was prepared for that, to meet you. I wasn’t prepared to feel things.”_

Shadow Weaver paused, but Castaspella didn’t say a thing. She was lost in the other’s words, anticipating and trying to guess what they would be.

 _“I felt nostalgia.”_ Shadow Weaver began, _“But at the same time, I felt like I was learning something new. As much as I don’t regret my choice, I feel guilty because I was not there to see how you would become. I did not try to see what_ **_we_ ** _would become.”_

“Isn’t that too late to regret?”

_“... I suppose so.”_

Shadow Weaver paused once more, probably to smoke. At this point, Castaspella was feeling dizzy, her legs weren't feeling as strong anymore - she felt like she could fall at any time. What was happening? Was that some kind of sick dream coming to torture her? Then why does it feel so real? The silence was such a long one that, at one point, Castaspella checked if Shadow Weaver was still there - if she didn’t hang up on her. Finding her name and the call still going on made her mad, so she spat:

“I don’t know why you keep doing these things. You say you don’t regret, then you come and tell me that you feel guilty. You did things to toy with me and then you held me like that-”

_“Castas-”_

“No! You **left** me! You chose to pursue your selfish dreams and now that they didn’t work out the way you wanted, you want to come back to me doing these silly games? I told you before Shadow Weaver; I’m not a girl anymore! Stop treating me like one!”

Shadow Weaver would pause again, but Castaspella didn’t let her:

“What do **YOU** want?! Why do you keep toying with my feelings?! I can’t bear this anymore Shadow Weaver!”

_“Please come outside.”_

“...What?”

_“On the balcony.”_

Castaspella stopped in her tracks and suddenly, she felt breathless. In one thoughtless motion, she ran to her room, caught her robe and tied it around her body. _That must be a joke._ She went to her living room. _This is a joke._ She opened the curtains and the door to her balcony. _This can’t be real!_

The night wasn’t starly, but the moon shined brightly and beautifully. The street was empty and she was the only person awake at that hour. And her. The moonlight was so bright that it seemed like artificial ones over Shadow Weaver; she looked like she came from a dream, her hair shining with the moontouch and her pale figure ghostly alluring at that street. Like a mirage.

Shadow Weaver still wore the same clothes she went to the bar with, leaning her back on her car and smoking a cigarette - as Castaspella guessed. A black long blazer was on top of her shoulders and she looked like she was just fine on that chilly night, like she belonged to it, nocturnal. Except that she no longer wore make up nor jewelry. Castaspella widened her eyes. That wasn’t possible!

“How did you know…?”

_“Angella told me you rented somewhere around here. That you left our neighbourhood, but was still close by. It wasn’t hard to get the full address.”_

“You shouldn’t be here.”

_“But I am.”_

“Why?”

_“Honestly, I forgot my car at the bar. Since I left earlier than you, I got time to sober up. Once I felt it was enough, I came to do what I needed.”_

“That’s dangerous.”

_“Yes.”_

Shadow Weaver smirked but, even though Castaspella wanted to smile to her back, she simply couldn’t. She wasn’t in control of what was happening, of what was going to happen. She didn’t know, she was lost - and she didn’t feel this lost since she moved out from their old apartment because it was unbearable to be there. So she chose this place, not exactly from their neighbourhood, not exactly far. She would take the same amount of steps to go to the bakery, but never would go to the same grocery store.

Seeing how Castaspella looked, Shadow Weaver decided to continue, throwing her cigarette away:

_“I’m not going to take much of your time. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean anything to you, I know. You hate me and you’re right to do so. I knew I was going to hurt you. I knew this was going to happen. I knew I broke something beyond repairs. The younger me would not admit that but, in the end, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to hurt you. But I did it even so, I did it my way. I don’t know if I could come back in time I would change anything, but, if I could, I would listen to you more. I would find common sense between us. I would make it better that, even if we would break up, it wouldn’t be as it was.”_

Castaspella was trembling, but her eyes couldn’t avert from Shadow Weaver’s. She was serious, she meant every word she said. Castaspella knew it, but it wouldn’t make it less hurtful. She felt her chest ache, the world around her get darker as if she could only see her. Shadow Weaver looked at Castaspella and taking that silence as an answer, she nodded and said, finally:

_“I miss you, I’m sorry.”_

It was like a key. Castaspella’s tears began to fall so quickly like waterfalls. She felt alone, she felt like someone was seeing through her weaknesses and poking at each and every one of them. She felt numb at the same time she felt everything in her body. Her sobs were loud, so loud Shadow Weaver could hear them even without the cellphone to her ear. She didn’t hang up, though, because hearing Castaspella cry this painfully was her punishment to bear - and she had to, she had to listen to her. She couldn’t leave her like she did back then, she couldn’t leave her crying again. So she listened, she looked at her, she gave her full attention. She wasn’t leaving.

“Cruel.”

_“I know.”_

“Evil.”

_“I know.”_

“You’re a monster!”

That was something Shadow Weaver didn’t expect to hear. Not like it was any worse of all the things that Castaspella said, but it was the confirmation. It caught her out of guard. It was for a brief moment that she looked down. Something warm streamed down her cheeks and she touched it. It left her angry. She wiped strongly, composed herself and, with a sigh, she looked up:

_“I kno-”_

But Castaspella wasn’t there anymore, only her ghost was left behind with the flowing curtains. Shadow Weaver opened her mouth and then chuckled. Of course she would leave. She didn’t need to be this hurt anymore. She didn’t need all of that. Shadow Weaver looked down and took her phone away from her ear, but, when she looked at the screen the call was still going. And then steps, stomps, and Shadow Weaver looked up. A slap right through her face and she dropped her phone on the ground. Shadow Weaver was shocked, for the first time in years.

“You’re cruel! You’re a monster! How do you expect me to believe you?! That you would change?! That you still can?!”

“I kno-”

Another slap.

“And then you just come here and expect me to believe all that crap?! To go back to you and just- Just try it when you’re not even sure?!”

“No, I’m sure.”

“How do you know?!”

“I’m not the type of woman to get to another’s house in the middle of the night to confess.”

Castaspella knew it was true, but at the same time, since she was interrupted from her spats, she felt the hiccups catch onto her. And suddenly, she was gasping for air between broken cries. It wasn’t loud anymore, it was like her feelings were so much - so loud - that they were beyond sound, so her face looked in pain while she sobbed silently. And Shadow Weaver hated to see it, so she had to take action. She didn’t do it like last time, though. First she tried: she reached a hand and touched Castaspella’s wrist, to which the woman slapped her hand away. She tried again, the slap was less hard. And again, Castaspella allowed her to take her wrist, but she didn’t look up. 

Shadow Weaver, then, tried to pull the other woman close, and she refused. Shadow Weaver stopped and Castaspella whined. Those warm feelings streaming down her cheeks again, blurring her vision - Shadow Weaver decided to ignore it. She tried, once more, and Castaspella gave in. She pulled her closer, but didn’t hug her. They were close enough so Shadow Weaver could touch her forehead on the top of Castaspella’s head. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“...Yes.”

As if to confirm her statement, she brought Castaspella’s hand to her face. Castaspella looked up slowly. She saw the woman crying silent tears with an unphased face if not for her eyebrows that twitches every time she blinked - and the slight trembling on her chin, almost unnoticeable, when she breathed. Castaspella widened her eyes when her fingers touched the tears on Shadow Weaver’s face, the tips tingling with the sensation and how serious Shadow Weaver looked at her.

“I’m not faking this, if that’s what you thought. I hate it. I just can’t seem to stop.”

Castaspella lowered her hand and her head. Shadow Weaver thought she could embrace her, and, as she was doing, the woman suddenly got away from her. Shadow Weaver looked down, but she quickly looked up when Castaspella said:

“I’m going to throw up.”

It was a quick announcement for quick acting. The moment Castaspella bent her body, Shadow Weaver swiftly went to her and grabbed her hair, pulling away from her face so she could have room. 

“How much did you drink?”

“A lot.”

Castaspella answered before throwing up again. Shadow Weaver held her hair gently with one hand, while with the other she caressed the woman’s back soothly. She would say for them to go inside, but that was not her to invite.

“I better come back home.”

“Yes.” Shadow Weaver agreeds.

“Will you help me?”

Shadow Weaver was surprised, but quickly nodded - she just went to her phone quickly and took it on her hand, locked her car - and took the woman’s arm and placed it around her shoulders, so she could hold her nice and properly. They climbed up two pairs of stairs, since Castaspella lived on the second floor. After closing the door behind them, Castaspella ran to the bathroom. Shadow Weaver wanted to take in the apartment, but all she could do was toss her coat, keys, phone and heels away and follow Castaspella.

She helped her until Castaspella said it was enough. She looked weak, probably dehydrated from that much spilling. With Castaspella leaning against the crook of her neck so weakly, Shadow Weaver felt responsibility and, somewhat, warmth. The reason was that Castaspella was allowing herself to be weak and to lean on Shadow Weaver for support and to give her strength. It was the kind of trust they had before, and it wasn’t something she would take for granted. She would take care of Castaspella. She walked to the other’s room and laid her down comfortably. 

“I’m bringing some water.”

Castaspella didn’t argue and the woman went and did as she said. When she came back, she heard tiny sobs coming from Castaspella. She still cried, as she felt lost and couldn’t see a clear path to her actions. It hurt her to rely on Shadow Weaver, but it hurt more to simply not know what was going to happen after and what she was supposed to feel. She didn’t have the strength to cry, so she placed an arm on her eyes, to hide her tears. Shadow Weaver sat at the side of the bed and helped Castaspella up, so she could drink water. 

“Do you feel any better?”

“No.”

“Do you still want to throw up?”

“No. I’m not nauseous anymore.”

“Then, what are you feeling?”

“I’m lost. Everywhere I go leads me back to you. I’m tired.”

“Then lay down.”

“I will but… You have to promise me you’ll at least try. You have to try Shadow Weaver, you have to be a woman of your word. You have to be better. I can’t take half truths anymore…” Castaspella’s voice got weaker and weaker, as her fatigue started to take over her.

Shadow Weaver nodded and the woman gripped on her arms, to make sure she was understood and not taken lightly. Shadow Weaver looked at Castaspella seriously and placed a hand over her arm, squeezing gently in return, to specify she understood her requirements and she was taking her seriously. She could see Castaspella’s effort to stay awake even though she felt so tired and needed immediate rest.

“I promise.”

Castaspella chuckled sadly.

“You’re lying.”

Shadow Weaver did not say anything. She wasn’t, but she wasn’t going to try and convince Castaspella - not when she looked like she could pass out at any given moment. She laid her back down and Castaspella’s eyes closed as if her body was thanking the soft bed on her back. She covered her with the blanket nicely and got up. Before she could leave, though, Castaspella’s hand weakly grabbed hers and her eyes blinked hazily when Shadow Weaver looked at her. That silent plea again. This time, Shadow Weaver could read it.

She reciprocated the hand and brought it closer to her lips, leaving a silent kiss there. And Castaspella fell into deep slumber.

• • •

Castaspella woke up feeling pain in her stomach and head. Thankfully she had curtains that blocked the sun, so she wouldn’t feel it hitting on her. At the clock, eleven in the morning. She couldn’t care less. She looked at the side of her bed, nobody. She began to ask herself if she had a bad dream yesterday and if all of that was her mind trying to make her feel bad. She sat, and touched her face. Dry tears. She cried a lot it seems, for a nightmare. Of course she would. 

At her night-table, though, there was a glass of water and two aspirins. Did she leave it there before going to sleep? Probably. She was a prepared woman. She saw a bucket near her bed and chuckled - did she have that big of an amnesia and forgot how prepared she got? She didn’t remember doing those things, but she probably did. Taking the aspirins and gladly putting them on the water, Castaspella got up and opened the door to her living room. It was darker than it should be, as she always left her curtains open to enter the sunlight in the morning. Her eyes went to her sofa and she got lost in a mix of desperation and… warmth?

The few rays of sunlight that entered the room only touched Shadow Weaver’s lap. She was leaning her head against her closed fist, her legs crossed and her face… calm. She also had swollen eyes from what Castaspella could see and she was sleeping softly. Castaspella stopped breathing. She could hear Shadow Weaver’s breath rhythm slowly raising and going down, sleeping peacefully. She looked heavenly - if Castaspella could say so - with her blazer on her shoulders. Did she feel cold during the night?

Then it sunk in.

Castaspella got back to her room and sat on the bed, after closing the door again. Yesterday was real. Everything that happened was true. And, when she grabbed Shadow Weaver’s hand, in a silent plea, all she could think was _“please, don’t leave this time”_. That kiss she left on her hand was her sealing her promise to her. The woman looked at her cup of water and aspirin, with feelings she did not know how to name.

Shadow Weaver fulfilled her promise. 

She didn’t leave.

Amidst her feelings and crazy racing thoughts, one of them won in Castaspella’s mind, repeating itself over and over again:

_What now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, what now? what do you think it'll happen? :)  
> twitter: adorasmile.


	6. What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! How are you? Hope you're doing well!  
> I wanted to say thank you for all of your support, on here ( I love reading your comments, it makes my day so happy! ), on twitter ( thank you for sharing, for following me and sending warm messages, you make my day) and now recently on tumblr. I wanted to tell you guys that yes, my tumblr is indiscreetlove, but I don't use there as much as I use other social medias. I will leave here my tumblr too, in case you guys wanna mention my fic, make art ( thank you for those who did, I'm very thankful <3 ) or something. But please, remember that I'm more online on twitter, so, you can message me there that I'll definetly see it! Thank you for your support and everything, you make my day happier!  
> Without further ado, hope you enjoy this chapter! <3  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove

The sound of kettles and the smell of coffee recently brewed met in a mixing of sensations in Shadow Weaver’s mind. 

She slowly blinked her eyes open to a ceiling that wasn’t hers. She grunted, sat up and noticed she was covered in a thin white blanket. The room was still dark, even though it had more of a yellow and orange hue thanks to the sun, cozy warmth filling her in. The sunlight entered through a few rays in the living room. Shadow Weaver followed them with her eyes and met the balcony of the kitchen, connected with the living room. There, with her hair down and a beige sweater that covered her like a dress, Castaspella was brewing coffee, distracted with her work.

Shadow Weaver sighed at the view and stayed silent for a bit more, looking at her preparing breakfast. Probably she was the one who covered her and at one point she laid down on the couch. It was like a distant dream, a far-off memory to look at Castaspella doing things so casually. Back then, they would change between who would wake up each other with what. Shadow Weaver always made toasts first and Castaspella coffee. Shadow Weaver looked at the window one more time, it was very different from where they lived first. Smaller and less colorful, probably because she didn’t have the time to color it. Which was weird - Castaspella loved beautiful things, she loved the colors life graced her with. Did that change too?

“You’re awake.”

Shadow Weaver looked to Castaspella who was serving two mugs of coffee.

“Yes, I’m sorry to bother.” she said politely

“You didn’t.”

And silence one more time as Castaspella added the right amount of sugar on her mug and on Shadow Weaver only one cube. Once done, she walked over to Shadow Weaver who sat straightly so that the woman could have room. She offered the mug to the woman who accepted gladly, murmuring a ‘thank you’ and taking a sip of the much needed wake up elixir.

“Sorry to trouble you with caring for me yesterday- I mean, earlier. I didn’t know I could be of much trouble.”

“You weren’t, not really. It’s expected to feel ill after drinking so much.”

Silence once more.

Both wanted to address the subject of hours earlier, but didn’t know how. So, they sipped on their coffees silently. Shadow Weaver, then, tried:

“Why is your house so… monochromatic?”

And it was, indeed. All the walls were beige and the furniture between white and beige. It didn’t look like Castaspella, even though it looked fancy. If she remembered well, Castaspella would have  _ at least  _ a purple wall, some golden stuff around. It would be lively, there it just seemed like any other house and it didn’t have Castaspella’s uniqueness. 

“I don’t know, actually. I was planning on painting it, some purple walls,” there, there she was “but never got the time. I rented it already like this and have been postponing the reform.”

“I see. It doesn’t look like you at all.”

“I know right? Sometimes I think I woke up in a hospital or something.”

They laughed shortly and Shadow Weaver denied with her head.

“But I barely spend time here, I’m always at the school.”

“Yes, I have noticed that. You should take more care of yourself.”

“Hm-mhm.”

Castaspella cut the subject short and Shadow Weaver looked at her. Guess that was the time.

“Shadow Wea-”

“Castaspella, what I said yesterday, earlier. I meant it. But it doesn’t mean I’m asking you to end your  _ thing _ with that teacher and try something with me. I’m just asking for forgiveness, not for pity.”

Castaspella widened her eyes and looked at Shadow Weaver. The woman was serious, looking at her as if that was something that wasn’t clear. But Castaspella couldn’t help but smile:

“Which teacher are we talking about?”

“Mara.”

Castaspella chuckled, much to confuse Shadow Weaver. The woman felt like she was being mocked and that made her anger up, almost getting up and leaving. There she was ‘opening her heart’ like a teenager only to be mocked. But Castaspella placed a hand on her arm and smiled at her fondly, her full eyebrows furrowing together to make a very warm expression.

“I don’t have anything with her, if that’s what you thought. She is a friend of mine, nothing less.” Shadow Weaver tilted her head slightly to the side “It wouldn’t work out anyways, she only have eyes to Light Hope whom, if I remember correctly, was flirting with you yesterday, huh.”

“That wasn’t flirting, she barely showed any emotion.”

“You should have seen her after you left. Oh, Heavens, it was unbearable, both of them. I guess you’re right, she wasn’t flirting with you, but maybe using you to catch Mara’s attention which worked perfectly.”

“What are we? Teenagers now?”

Castaspella chuckled and Shadow Weaver smiled. But, that concerned her. It was the same concerns that Castaspella had, ‘what now?’. She had confessed, asked for forgiveness - that caught on her mind and she lowered her head, hiding her face in her hand. Damn, she acted like a damn teenager. Her face was flushed red, hidden behind her hand. It didn’t get any better when Castaspella said:

“Well, you sure looked like one on my balcony confessing-”

“You don’t need to remind me of that.”

The woman laughed heartily, genuinely having fun with how Shadow Weaver was flustered about remembering the way she did things. She would never admit it to the other she thought it was kinda romantic, and, well, it was. It made her flustered also and she slowly stopped laughing to avert her gaze and blush herself.

“Crap.”

They were like two nervous teenagers, who just confessed to which other, what was that? They were both adults! They could handle those types of feelings, right? After a while of being nervous, Castaspella took both of their mugs, forcing Shadow Weaver to show her still reddish face. She brought them to the sink and filled them with water, while Shadow Weaver folded the blanket to thank Castaspella for letting her borrow it. Once they were calmed down and more adults, or, well, at least half of it, Castaspella came back to the couch. 

Shadow Weaver crossed her legs and waited for her. The woman was direct.

“What now?”

“I don’t know.”

“Weird.”

“What?”

“You usually know what to do.”

Shadow Weaver nodded, she usually knew what to do and had an answer for everything. But that was hard, it was years of yearning, losing and betrayals. There was no way to repair it with a few words or a few days, was there even a way to repair it?

“I don’t, this time. I didn’t expect much coming here.”

“You were right not to.”

Shadow Weaver looked at her, but Castaspella wasn’t looking at her. She had her face in a sad expression, even though she smiled. Her hands were joined together and she was fidgeting, Shadow Weaver got worried. Why was she worried, though? That was the only outcome possible.

“I don’t want to come back.” Castaspella tried in a weak voice “That day, you didn’t even bother to look back. You went and did what you wanted. I couldn’t come back to our house that day, did you know that? I never understood why you chose to leave from the school and not from our house. I woke up to a home filled with you, but I would come back to an empty house.”

Shadow Weaver could feel the pain in Castaspella’s voice every time she said ‘our’, knowing that this time it must be the first time she was talking the subject with who she wanted, not with friends, not with closed ones, but with the one who caused it all.

“I came back only after a few days and you didn’t even bother to take your flowers with you. Your daisies died, you know? You left everything neatly, as if you were going on a work trip. But you left. You didn’t answer my calls, nor Angella’s. You wouldn’t answer anybody.”

She sighed, thinking that it wasn’t probably the best thing to be talking about now. She was averting the main subject.

“I believe you can change, if you want to. You always did what you put your mind to, so, if you want to change, you can. But, every corner I look there you are. The flowers, the things you ate. It’s like I’m haunted. I don’t want to go, I think I’ll make it worse, everything I know brings me back to us.”

Castaspella, then, chuckled sadly.

“Everywhere I go leads me back to you.”

Shadow Weaver stayed silent. She couldn’t say anything because the woman was right. Everything she caused, all the pain and the haunting. It was the same for her, but it didn’t matter. For Castaspella was probably worse, because she chose to feel every emotion she had. That was one of the things she admires most in the woman: she always felt every emotion as they should be. Shadow Weaver ran away from them, filled herself with wine and other distractions, to not feel and numb herself. 

After a while silent, Shadow Weaver said in a low tone:

“So, what now?”

Castaspella looked at her. That was a tricky question - because, layered in that low tone, was hidden some kind of hope that Shadow Weaver tried hard to hide. Honestly, deep down, Castaspella felt the same, she still had some hope. What they had was once too powerful, so powerful that it lingered for years and still affected them. But the silence preserved itself for a long while, for them both to think. Well, for Shadow Weaver that was but an answer.

“So, it’s a yes. You gave up on me.”

“It’s not that Shadow Weaver, I just, I don’t think I can-”

Her voice cracked and she felt like she would cry again. She composed herself and swallowed dryly, her voice coming weakly:

“I don’t think I can pass through that again. I don’t think I can keep up running after you, begging you to stay while, in the end, you’re going to do what you want anyways. You always get what you want and of course, you come here wanting to have me back, but- can it be about me, once? Can you care about me? Fight for me? Let go of things for the health of this relationship?”

Castaspella looked at her seriously and that caught Shadow Weaver out of guard. Could she, though? She doubted herself and her own ambition. Shadow Weaver was unpredictable, the type of person that never stopped to move forward - and that was admirable, but, that meant she wouldn’t ever stop. Was she able to ever stop?

“See? You can’t.”

Castaspella stated sadly. 

“I can’t pass through that again.”

“You’re right.” Shadow Weaver began and Castaspella chuckled sadly “I don’t know if I can. It’s uncertain, I have never tried before. One thing, though, you said it’s right, above all else: when I put something to mind, I chase it. I am coming back to the places I came from, helping those I once lived with. It’s like I’m walking on the steps of… Light Spinner.” she said with repulse the name. It no longer made her comfortable “But I’m walking as Shadow Weaver, as someone with more experience and more caution. I can’t tell you that I’m not as ambitious, that will never cease in me. But, such as yourself, I have changed. If you can live somewhere that looks like a hospital, I can try and mend at least some things.”

Shadow Weaver got up and walked where she left her purse, taking her heels and putting them on. She did it as fast as she could, so Castaspella couldn’t say anything to her.

“I would like, yes, as I have told you to try again. But I will not ask such of you. I will ask only this: don’t underestimate how far I’ll go and how much I’ll try. I did not lie when I said I would try. And if that is what it takes to lift this curse I bestowed upon you, so be it. I’ll not back down from this goal.”

Castaspella looked at her, at how serious she was. She got up and walked to the door, to stay in front of Shadow Weaver. She touched the woman’s face, who was slightly surprised by the movement. Fondly, Castaspella caressed her cheek. Castaspella felt fondness for her, of course she would. There was simply no way to deny how much care she had for the woman that was why it was hard for her; deep down she hoped and hoped that Shadow Weaver would change because, in the end, her heart rested with her anyways. But she had to take care of herself, and Shadow Weaver knew that. That was why she was doing all of this, not out of some selfish goal to be praised for changing, but because it passed the time in which she had to take care of Castaspella, not only for herself. She wanted to say something but Shadow Weaver was faster.

“I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for you.”

“I doubt it.”

“You shouldn’t.”

Shadow Weaver took her hand away and leaned in, to which Castaspella backed away. They looked at each other’s eyes for a couple of seconds, trying to hold a conversation. In her own way, Shadow Weaver showed fondness, even though she appeared so serious. Castaspella could see it on her expressive eyes, that could never hid what she actually feels. And it melted some barriers Castaspella so carefully build around her heart and mind, in a way that she didn't know if she could put them up again against Shadow Weaver. Castaspella thought she was to be kissed, but Shadow Weaver didn’t do so. She backed away first and waited patiently for the woman to open the door for her. Castaspella did so, reluctantly, and Shadow Weaver said, before leaving:

“Farewell, Castaspella.”

And she closed the door. She stayed there, standing with her hand on the knob, forehead on the door even when she heard the motor of the car of Shadow Weaver announcing she was leaving. What did she mean by that? What was her goal, her ideas? She hated and admired how she couldn't predict Shadow Weaver's steps. In her mind she counted about a hundred possibilities, went over and over what Shadow Weaver said to find any hints of her next step. And then, it happened.

Castaspella's heart sank and she widened her eyes.

“Farewell…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... why did Shadow Weaver say farewell? Why do you think?? :((  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove


	7. Advices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the chapter guys! I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry I'm so late with it, I got caught up in work and then on anxiety and couldn't find ways to write, but finally, this chapter came! I'm writing the next chapter already so you guys will have it as soon as possible! Thank you for your support and understanding!  
> And I hope you like the two new characters that will appear :)  
> Thank you!  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove

One week passed by with nothing really seeming to change. Even though they had to continue their lives as professors. 

They didn’t really talk about their problems, or that special event in Castaspella’s house. They didn’t seem to talk about anything. By the end of the week, though, Castaspella noticed something weird happening: Shadow Weaver went more and more to Angella’s room. They spent hours there and would still leave the place discussing something. Angella wouldn’t tell her, nor would Shadow Weaver.

She was rather dismissive, when approached.

The weekend passed by with a rather anxious Castaspella - she could feel something was not right. She wanted to call, to send a message. But, everytime she started to write something or to dial the number, she panicked and erased everything. It seemed wrong, as much as it seemed right.

But she gave up on it.

It was on Monday that she regretted not having called, not saying a word.

That’s because she came upon the news that Shadow Weaver moved back to the Horde school.

• • • 

So, she called. She messaged. But after three days the number was erased, the messages didn’t reach an end and the calls wouldn’t even dial. Shadow Weaver changed her number.

To go to the Horde was tricky, it was in another state and would leave her too tired to travel there. She couldn’t do that having the school and one weekend wouldn’t be enough to search for her. Castaspella had to wait until the school vacation and it pained her deeply. She was worried, feeling betrayed and left out once again.

But it still didn’t feel quite right to  _ feel  _ betrayed.

It wasn’t like the last time, though it seemed so. It had unanswered questions, not like last time, that she made clear her intentions. Maybe it was because of what she said, because of their conversation.

Three weeks later, though, something happened. 

Through the door of Bright Moon, someone she missed so much came back, with a smile that made the entire room glow. And, although as the moment seemed dire, she felt some kind of hope in her chest. Things were really about to change.

It was Micah, returning from a work trip.

• • • 

  
Later on that Wednesday night, one month after Shadow Weaver left Bright Moon once again, Micah decided to visit over Castaspella. It was something common between them, to have these moments of alone conversation where they could be just themselves, siblings. He came by later and Castaspella was feeling anxious, she poured cups of tea for both of them. When they sat down, though, it was visible Castaspella wasn’t herself. She didn’t feel comfortable, her feet tapped the ground so much that Micah had to place a hand on her shoulder and give her an understanding smile.

“What’s on your mind, sister?”

Castaspella looked at him and placed her hand above his. He gently moved only to caress her face and she offered a sad smile.

“I’m sorry, was it too visible?”

“Well, you’re not exactly subtle.”

He looked at her tapping feet and she followed, them laughing at the same time for the event. Micah then sat at the sofa in front of her, taking his cup on his hands and blowing the steam off it softly, giving room for Castaspella to speak at her own time, her own pace.   
  
“Micah,” she began after a while “do you remember Shadow Weaver?”

He gulped on his tea comically, which made Castaspella slightly worry and reach out to him. But, as quick as he did, he composed himself, pretending to be non-curious for the sake of his sister.

“Yes, of course, hard to forget.”

The way he said that politely made Castaspella let out a tiny laugh, to which made him blush. Not knowing, he was indeed making her feel more comfortable.

“So, while you were away, she came back to our school as a teacher. She even brought some students with her.”

Micah lowered his cup to the middle table and looked at her seriously. Some of the events he was familiar with - Angella told him so and Glimmer wasn’t exactly happy with her Horde colleagues -, but that was a perspective for someone that had not to suffer with such idle things. It was much bigger and he wanted her to feel supported. Castaspella felt his support and with that strength, she continued speaking:

“Of course some things were to happen - bound to. I couldn’t believe it at first. I wasn’t expecting anything, but they happened anyway. She was still  _ her _ , same attitude, same pride. But, for some reason, she said to me she was going to change after… some other things happened.And then she left.” she closeted to herself, as she couldn’t know what he would expect of that.

She wanted to tell him the details, tell him what really happened - about how they cried together, feared together that new approach and yet so old of the past. She wanted to talk to him about that day in her house, the day of Shadow Weaver’s promises. But, could she? Castaspella knew something was odd, but would Micah know? Or would he just hold a grudge against Shadow Weaver - understandably so - and not feel that something was not yet clear? 

“She promised me. And I know this sounds familiar, Micah, it’s just this time- This time I feel it- I can feel-!”

He reached a hand to hers and held it firmly. On his face there was a sad, but understanding smile. Of course he knew that was familiar and of course he was being judgmental about it. He couldn’t trust Shadow Weaver, not after everything she has done. And to believe such a promise after leaving was quite hard for him - he had nothing but a bitter feeling for Shadow Weaver.

But there was his sister, one of the persons he loved the most, in such distress and confusion for feeling something was strange in the air. He wouldn’t doubt it, nor take it lightly. Because Castaspella was a grown woman - and although fully capable of making mistakes -, she would know better than to believe in shallow promises from someone she once believed and hurt her. So, if Castaspella was believing, he had to too, for her and, if she would be proven wrong, he would still be there with her.

“It’s okay.” Micah said simply.

Castaspella sighed from relief and loosened her hair, suddenly feeling a wave of tiredness pass through her body since she was finally able to speak freely about what has been on her mind for the past month. She stayed silent for a while, but so did he, letting her breath in and out her anxiety and still held her hand. Their teas became cold but none of them cared, there were better things to take care of.

“It has been a month since she went back to the Horde. I don’t know why she did that after promising such things to me, and I also don’t know what to expect since she changed her number.”

Now it was her turn to wait for a response, which Micah took a little while to understand the cue. He breathed in after a while, to take in the whole story better. With a pensive sigh and his hand on his chin, Micah tried:

“Well, you know Shadow Weaver, she is not exactly the type of person who lets her intentions be clear.” he picked every word carefully “Maybe she wants to go back to the past so she can correct some things in the present…?”

Castaspella looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Is that a question-”

“Look, every one changes.” he interrupted her so she wouldn’t see how lost he was as well “If you feel something is odd about this new promise of hers, then maybe it’s. Maybe something is fishy and maybe she needs her time too. It **is** Shadow Weaver we’re talking about, even she needs time to get over herself. Maybe there was some unfinished business on the Horde; have you ever thought why she came back to Bright Moon at all?” 

“She said the Horde was insufficient for her.”

“It doesn’t seem like her at all.”

Castaspella nodded.

“If you look at it, it sounds fishy. Maybe she came with some ulterior motive and you managed, somehow, to change her mind. But, to end what she has done, she needed to go back to the Horde. Don’t you think so too?”

Micah was really clever when he needed to and those words did make sense, but that would also mean to believe that she wanted to change and that, now, she was pursuing that goal. It was a rather difficult thing to believe, but, if there was going to have anyone to try - that would be Castaspella.

Silently she reached over for her cup and tried to drink from it.

“It got colder.”

“Let me do another one for us.”

Micah got up and went to her kitchen, trying to also prepare some snacks for his sister while he was at it. Caught up in how funny - and good - was to be with her brother once again, Castaspella let herself forget about her worries and relax a bit.

When she laid her head on her bed, though, that uneasy feeling came back to her alongside with hope.

• • • 

“Hello, who is it?”

A moment of silence and Castaspella almost hung up. It was on her lunch break and some unknown number called her. She thought it was impolite to answer, but it could be some prank call or some service she didn’t want to know anything about.

“Tsc.”

_ “You shouldn’t sound like this when someone calls you, it’s terribly impolite.” _

The voice seemed to be covered in irony and honey, it left Castaspella’s chest tight. She breathed in, wanting to say something. After all, it has been a month and two weeks since that last moment they had, since the last she heard of Shadow Weaver. Honestly she would expect years again, but, this time it was sooner. She couldn’t feel relieved though.

_ “You don’t need to say anything, just listen.” _

Castaspella thankfully agreed and stayed silent, so the other could listen. Shadow Weaver understood her allowance and took it gladly.

_ “I know I haven’t said anything. I’m still working on… letting people know about what I’m doing. But there are still some unfinished subjects here on the Horde. Things I have to work through so that I can try… to be better.” _

It was clearly hard for Shadow Weaver to say such things and Castaspella’s silence didn’t make it any better. 

_ “I hope you can understand,” Shadow Weaver tried after a while “And I hope we can have a proper conversation after this. Now, I hope you can wait for this. I have to go. Until later.” _

“I’ll wait.” said Castaspella in a rush that she wasn’t able to hold it in.

_ “Thank you.” _

And she hung up. Maybe it was the smile in Shadow Weaver’s voice when she thanked, or maybe it was her trying to reach out for her. Castaspella didn’t know the exact reason, but ran to Angella’s Principal room and opened the door fast, almost startling the other, who looked mostly upset:

“I’m claiming next week on vacation, please!”

Angella only laughed shortly and denied with her head.

“You’re going after her, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” 

• • •

Shadow Weaver was with a different expression on her face - content? Yes, her lips formed a small smile while she leaned against the balcony in Horde’s school, her hair flowing with the wind. She felt light, she felt like she could try something new and right finally. It felt right for her and, to know Castaspella was waiting made her heart warm.

But the same warm breeze suddenly turned into a chilly one and her smile quickly faded. 

From behind her, someone with a smile on lips and on voice approached, but he meant no friendship - from him only an ill aura emanated. From him nothing good would ever come out. It was Horde Prime. And if that controlling smile, he said:

“Why are you so happy for, Shadow Weaver?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Micah and Horde Prime huh? How will they help ( or not help ) our Castaweaver?  
> Also, if you want to translate this fic, please send a dm for me on twitter!  
> What do you think it'll happen? :((  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove


	8. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya guys! How are you doing? I'm sorry I'm late, I'm trying to get over somethings from life but I got really inspired for this chapter. I really like it! Hope you enjoy it too! :) I'm really curious to your guys thoughts, so, please leave a comment in the end!  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove

“I’m not happy, sir. Sadly you’re mistaken.”

Shadow Weaver answered in a monotone, keeping concealed her feelings from the previous call. Her lips were closed in a thin line as her expressions quickly faded to an unreadable one. Horde Prime could only smirk and let a nonchalant chuckle escape his lips. The pale man walked to stand beside Shadow Weaver, in full italian type suit, white and grey turtleneck. He looked like a big white column, ever so polished. He seemed almost good, but one person could sense his narcissism and corruption. To which he said in a polished, but with hidden mockery on his voice:

“Indeed. How could you, isn’t that right? Light Spinner who came to this school in search of knowledge and power, to become Shadow Weaver in the end, be happy?”

Shadow Weaver stayed silent, only her eyebrow got up in irony. She understood his mockery and he did not fear him. So she replied:

“Yes, exactly. Light Spinner represents a past I let go of to become a new person and fulfill my goals.”

“Have you really left Light Spinner in the past?”

Shadow Weaver rested her chin on her hand, leaneda bit to her side and smiled an orionic smile.

“Why the sudden interest? When I came here you did not want to know that, why now?”

“Because you just called your past. Are you trying to lie to me, Shadow Weaver?”

That, though, didn’t even get Shadow Weaver by surprise. She lived under the domain of Horde Prime for so long she knew how he worked and how he wanted to get to your wound and make it bleed. She smiled though, confidently and also mockingly.

“I am not a liar, Prime. It’s you who doesn’t understand that the past grows into the present - I did not call my past, I called my present.”

Shadow Weaver then left, knowing not that her so-called present was going after her and also not knowing that Prime’s smile just widened a hand going to his chin while he seemed to have fun.

“Certainly not the future.”

• • •

Castaspella’s trip went for one entire day by car, counting the stops. By the time she got the city, the night seemed like it was going to rain: full of clouds that seemed heavy with rain, she hospeded herself in a hotel, not too fancy but enough to see the pouring rain that clouded the streets. The woman came out of the bathroom with a tired expression, her hair, even though dry, strill dropped a few drops of water through her bathrobe and she looked at the room that had only a bed for her and that window that showed the grey city and it’s rain.

Sat at the bed with beige cushions, Castaspella took her phone out and looked at her messages. Earlier in her trip she sent a message to the unknown number:

_ “What would you do if I went after you this time?” _

It stated “seen”. It was already seven in the night and she left her phone on the bed with a sigh, getting up to change into warmer clothes. While she was brushing her hair, she noticed the screen light up and running to it.

_ “Where are you?” _

It was the answer. Simply, direct. Castaspella wondered if Shadow Weaver was mad at her, but she was here anyways - there was no going back.

_ “Desert Island Hotel.” _

And again, seen. She couldn’t understand it this time, but decided to keep on changing clothes. After a solid 30 minutes, the hotel phone rang and Castaspella answered it.

_ “Hello, Ma’am, there’s a woman here wishing to speak to you. She says she knows you and you called for her. Her name is Shadow Weaver, do I let her up?” _

“...Yes, please.”

The little while that Shadow Weaver took to go up let her in a state of panic. She paid attention to the rain outside and heard the elevator slowly climb up to heer floor. The sound it made of opening up, her heels clasping on the wooden floor. And then, a knock. Castaspella didn't move an inch ever since she put the phone on the holder. She didn’t even laced her hair up. She just silently stayed on the bed.

Truth is, she didn’t think about the moment she would meet Shadow Weaver, she didn’t know what she would do. With a sigh, she got up and walked to the door, opening it softly. Shadow Weaver was looking mad, even though her face didn’t show it. It was always her eyes, they were always so expressive.

“What are you doing-”

But Castaspella didn’t hear - nor think of what she just did. While Castaspella wore jeans pants and a t-shirt, looking ever so casual, Shadow Weaver wore a crimson button up shirt and social pants. Her heels were from her social shoes. She looked wet, the fabric of the cloth gluing to her body, showing that maybe she ran all the way to there or she didn’t care enough to bring an umbrella. Her silk, long, black hair framed her face beautifully. Maybe that was the reason - maybe it was because Shadow Weaver looked so ungodly, so gorgeous in that way. It was hard for Castaspella to even consider not doing what she did.

It took a while for Shadow Weaver to understand it, but once she did, the woman acted back; Castaspella pulled Shadow Weaver down in a sloppy and needy kiss, catching both of their breaths as it was hard to breathe correctly having lips locked in such a tight way. When Shadow Weaver came to be, she embraced the woman tightly and deepened the kiss, biting Castaspella’s lower lip, tugging it strongly as a way to punish her. Punish her for what?

Castaspella only broke the kiss to look hazily at Shadow Weaver, both of their faces flushed red from the effort they made for kissing like that.

“Just…” she tried breathlessly “Shut up. I couldn’t let you go, not again.”

“Does that mean you forgave me?”

“No.” Castaspella’s voice soared with the thunder “But, I won’t let you go like this.”

One more thunder and she punched Shadow Weaver lightly in the arm, but not getting away from her embrace.

“I did not forgive you, but you promised again, you called me! This time I’ll see it through. And there’s no stopping me.”

Shadow Weaver only could deny it with her head. She entered the room, closed the door behind her, closing it with the key, but still on the hallway, not letting go of Castaspella:

“Don’t you believe in me?”

“I don’t.”

Shadow Weaver smiled and entered a bit in the room, Castaspella eyeing her carefully. And so she flicked the switch off, the whole room became dark. Shadow Weaver’s eyes seemed to glow and something in Castaspella rose with anticipation. 

“Me neither.”

And Shadow Weaver kissed Castaspella softly, slowly, painfully and then began to deepen it. Castaspella’s hands swiftly went to her shirt, unbuttoning the shirt carefully, instead of ripping it off. There was something happening there, that neither of them knew how to describe, just to act on it. It was the years of longing, missing, alongside those painful months of not touching each other and… the deep desire to have each other again, to try again, to meet again, again, again and again.

Shadow Weaver laid Castaspella down in the bed, receiving a happy sigh from the other. The pressure and the weight of each other’s bodies on top of one another seemed to fit just right the years of loneliness and unhappiness, like something that was long lost found its way back home again. It was impossible not to remember their kiss in Castaspella’s car, at the parking lot of the school. Like their bodies remembered it as if it happened this morning. It felt warm, hot and incredibly tasteful.

To know their bodies and to discover them again, their hands moved swiftly to touch and to dispose of anything that became between them. Between melodic noises of pleasure and gasps of air, suddenly they were skin to skin, chest to chest, remaining only in their pants. That was when Castaspella stopped the kiss once more. They were breathless, gasping and robbing each other’s air, their faces trying to meet again and interlock lips, but Castaspella avoided it.

“I want to know everything…” she said finally “Tell me everything, Shadow Weaver. Don’t leave me in the dark.”

A ray of lightning draws a beautiful design in the sky, shoving light to Shadow Weaver’s face. Castaspella saw her cheeks flushed, a small smile showing her pointed teeth. She seemed happy, which was really an unusual thing for her. She seemed happy for the first time and it made her seem more young. She caressed the woman’s face and approached slightly.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

The roaring thunder and strong rain muffled sounds, permitting them to be kept only between those four walls. Only between them. Confessions of a long shared passion that flourished with warmth. Their bodies met for the first time and knew each other once again, at the same time.

It felt like home.

• • •

When the day came it was still raining and Shadow Weaver looked through the window at the grey skies of the city, the pouring easy rain making a soothing awakening. She breathed in and sat up, the blankets covering her chest leaving it and exposing her. She was used to that chilly weather, having lived there for so many years. She looked at Castaspella’s legs and sighed. In normal days she would have left, put on her clothes and got out of there. But… she couldn’t this time. Even so, she disliked that feeling of having Castaspella so close to Horde Prime like this. 

Like he could ever do anything to her, she wouldn’t let him. But now to consider her in her plans like this was slightly worrying for her. As if reading her thoughts, she felt a warm hand on her back, making her adjust her posture. A warm, groggy voice welcomed her ears:

“You weren’t leaving, were you?”

Shadow Weaver looked back at her, Castaspella was just brushing her eyes, but trying to sit up, worry starting to fill her expressions. Shadow Weaver denied with her head and a hand placed itself on Castaspella’s thigh, giving a reassuring squeeze:

“No.” she said in a hoarse and quiet voice “I wasn’t.”

“Then, what were you doing?”

Shadow Weaver looked at her - Castaspella was beautiful. Charming and pretty, silk skin. Nothing like her own, seeming to be so grey. But Castaspella saw beauty in her. She was beautiful, mysterious. Castaspella crawled to Shadow Weaver to be at her side, they touched their shoulders together and a silence filled them in. But it was comfortable.

“Thinking.” Shadow Weaver said after a while.

It made Castaspella understand, so she got out of the sheets. It revealed her body, still marked from the other’s night loving to which she showed proudly to Shadow Weaver. The woman also noticed how her own body was marked and it made her slightly smile. Castaspella walked confidently to the hotel’s phone and ordered breakfast.

“It’s better to think with a full stomach.” 

Shadow Weaver denied with her head once more. That woman was going to make her softer and that was a problem. But she cared not, for she allowed herself to feel this at least once. Castaspella went to her bag and pulled on a sweater on her body, as well as handing Shadow Weaver a T-Shirt for her to use. Then she lit up the heater, just at the right time for the breakfast to arrive. Castaspella was the one to answer the door and help the woman in with the goods, quickly, for the sweater covered her only to her thighs. 

After everything was on the small table and they served themselves a cup of coffee, Castaspella sat on the chair in front of the bed, looking at Shadow Weaver slowly sip her cup. It took as long as necessary for Shadow Weaver to feel comfortable to speak, and Castaspella did not rush her, that was when she begun:

“When I first came to the Horde I was young, impetuous. I did not know what I was going to encounter, but I wanted to anyway. And so I went here. There was Principal Prime, with a lot of ideas on his mind that seemed to serve well to my intentions. That’s how he works: he makes you think his idea is yours and that you’re in control of everything. I noticed it far too late. That was when he came with an idea.”

Castaspella stopped drinking from her coffee to hear.

“He couldn’t understand why Bright Moon was more… famous than his own was. He wanted to know your methods, he wanted to know how it worked, so he could be better or so that he could use that information to strike at a weak spot. I used this opportunity to get out of here. And I was sure it was going to be a normal assignment, that I wouldn’t feel nothing at all, but, well…” she looked up to Castaspella, who seemed offended. Shadow Weaver did not surprise herself, her intentions at the start weren’t good ones. “That’s why I had to come back here. To put an end to this assignment and to find a way to get out of his contract. Without getting my students nor anyone else in the middle of it.”

“And why couldn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you were going to interfere.”

“I could help.”

“I don’t want you to meet someone of his kind. I want to deal with this myself.”

“Then, what were your plans? Leave me again?”

“I wasn’t going to leave. I was going to be here for only six months, or a year.”

“And that  _ is  _ leaving, Shadow Weaver.”

“No, it’s-”

“Listen here.” Castaspella got up and placed her mug of coffee on the table and took Shadow Weaver’s and placed it on top of it as well. “This isn’t going to work out like this, not anymore. If you wish to come back to me and to make me forgive you, the first step is to let me in. Not doing things on your own, letting me know. I want to know, Shadow Weaver. Your next move, your plans, your thoughts. If you want me to trust you you have to make it. Got it?”

Shadow Weaver looked at her; Castaspella was serious, firm. She knew what she wanted and what she demanded. And she was right, because Shadow Weaver would have to work to gain her trust and love back, as well as her forgiveness. With a reluctant sigh, Shadow Weaver agreed:

“Then, what is it?” Castaspella demanded.

“Prime uses the school funds for something that I don’t know yet. He’s corrupted and so is the school.” the sudden words of Shadow Weaver took a gasp from Castaspella “I’m trying to find a way to expose it and so be done with it.”

Castaspella widened her eyes and Shadow Weaver almost regretted saying those things. The woman then got to her phone and begun typing:

“Castaspella?”

“We’re going to need reinforcements.”

“No, you can’t tell Angella!”

“It’s not her.”

“Then who is it?”

Castaspella looked at her and walked to the woman, still standing up for she was not able to sit down due to that adrenaline that suddenly rushed through her veins. She placed a hand on Shadow Weaver’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, answering in a firm a reassuring tone:

“Micah.”

Shadow Weaver widened her eyes and as she was about to complain, Castaspella squeezed her shoulder a little bit tighter:

“We’re doing this  _ together _ , Shadow Weaver. He’s going to help us.”

And that took away the words from Shadow Weaver’s mouth. Because she never realized she could count on Castaspella like this, that she would be stronger and have a clear mind shot at her plans. Only she had matured sooner, only she did that younger. But Shadow Weaver decided to remain in the present, to let go of the regret of what she didn’t do, choosing to learn from it and to depend on Castaspella. The man answered on the other side, but Shadow Weaver could not hear what the siblings talked about. She only raised a hand to be on Castaspella’s arm, catching the woman’s attention. That’s when she saw:

Determination and affection on her face at the same time. The power of a woman who could be fierce and also find strength to do everything for those she loved. And as she looked at Shadow Weaver, her hand gently caressed the woman’s face.

And Shadow Weaver wasn’t alone anymore. 

• • •

Lunch break and Prime walked to his private room to serve himself a cup of tea, with little drops of whiskey to it. When he sat on his chair, he looked up at the hour: 1:22 PM. A smirk crawled on his lips and he sipped on his drink softly. Resting his face on his closed fist, Prime directioned his chair to the window, and looked at the thin rain outside. He knew what was happening, and that… lack of presence showed the rest of evidence he needed to confront Bright Moon. He could almost laugh, but that would be too loud. With a mocking tone, he asked to himself:

“Where are you, Shadow Weaver?”

But he knew the answer.

She was exactly where he wanted her to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Prime's intel is? What kind of information? What kind of blow will he do against the ones in Bright Moon? All I know is, THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! properly this time  
> twitter: @skypiratte  
> tumblr: @indiscreetlove

**Author's Note:**

> twitter is: @skypiratte


End file.
